Why do THEY always have to win?

[tikeyas_mom]

when I marrie I will make sure that my husband loves animals and knows that I weill always have them, if he doesnt like it, too bad .. I will win in that battle no matter what my guy says. befor I marrie I will make my husband well aware that I love animals and I will have Tikeya at my wedding hahahahaha..

[Fox-Gal]

Yes, if my husband says no and has strong felling about it then we don't get a pet.

Not because he's the man or the boss but because it's his home too and he has just as many rights as I do on what happens in the home. I'll give my side and he will give his side and if we can't agree then there will be no new additions to or home. It's called respect and love for each other.

I surely not going to leave my husband because I can't get my way, thats a little immature if you ask me. It's either that, or your love for your husband isn't as strong as maybe it should be. Better or worce.

[Tonya]

Not in my house, Jen. When I first met Mike, he came from a neat freak home...He said that he'd never have pets because they were disgusting and dirty. I talked him into a cat...but he said she couldn't come inside...then I talked him into another cat, and then a dog, and then another dog...you get the picture...lmao. We now have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 3 snakes, and a fish all living inside. He still occasionally gets mad about something getting chewed and talks angrily about the dogs. But on the same line, he's the one that has been searching for another pomeranian online and I've seen him come home crying because "I just got to thinking...what would I do if Ron got out and got run over." (He'd seen a dead cat on the road that resembled Ron on the way home.)

[Soledad]

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
Yes, if my husband says no and has strong felling about it then we don't get a pet.

Not because he's the man or the boss but because it's his home too and he has just as many rights as I do on what happens in the home. I'll give my side and he will give his side and if we can't agree then there will be no new additions to or home. It's called respect and love for each other.

I surely not going to leave my husband because I can't get my way, thats a little immature if you ask me. It's either that, or your love for your husband isn't as strong as maybe it should be. Better or worce.

Agreed.

[Tonya]

I didn't answer the question. lol. I babbled. If it came down to it, I would allow Mike to forbid me to have pets. I think (sorry about being old fashioned) that everything is ultimately the husbands decision. But, it usually doesn't take to much for me to talk Mike into things. I can only think of one time in my life that he has truly told me No to something after us discussing it.

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by Soledad
Agreed.

Thanks ....I was beginning to think maybe I was alone in my views, now days.



I have to say this though....it's doesn't really happen much around here, I mean we are up to 100+ pets....So NO is not a word I hear to much.

[carole]

To be honest my hubby did not want another cat, mostly because of the expense side of it, however when it came down to it, he agreed to adopt sooti, as I think he fell in love with him as well, and when Sooti died, he saw how heartbroken and depressed I was, he just knew another kitty was going to enter our household when I felt the time was right, I did not even have to ask him.

However I respect my husbands wish to have no more kitties, at the moment, because I too know it simply is not possible or affordable, and I consider with my allergy's and our limited budget, to be very lucky to have my Ash and Lexie.

Besides Lexie is everything I ever wanted in a cat, and Ash is my cat with cattitude and I love him dearly just the same.

Anyway's for me I feel two cat's is just the perfect number for me.

I mean I have had two children, two husbands, and now two Cats, see everything is revolved around the perfect number two. LOL.

I suppose in my case I was the one who got my own way.

[Soledad]

Fox_Gal - I think you're dead on. If I want to be treated equally and have my wishes and ideas accepted, I have to be willing to do the same for my partner.

Sam was not crazy about getting another cat, but he eventually saw the light. However, he says two animals is his limit. I respect this totally. I do not want any resentment in our house.

If he suddenly turned into the kind of guy who wanted pics of naked chicks on the walls of our house (thank God he is not!) I would want him to listen to my ideas about how our house should look and what is allowed inside it. Same goes for me. It's pretty simple, really.

As it is, we only have a one bedroom apartment and the lease only allows two pets, so it's just not feasible to have more. And I don't think I want more, either. I like having two to concentrate my love on. Anymore and I can't guarantee the same quality/quantity of attention.

As for the husband always having the final say, I think Sam and I would both die laughing over that rule.

[shais_mom]

I am single. And there isn't any way I would allow a 'him' to forbid me to not get something. I earn my own money. BUT I also know my limit. I have thought about getting another dog or cat but financially I can't. And I don't think I can give enough attention to another animal. I don't have the room in my home right now.
I am in total agreement with the 'fordid is a strong word' but I understand what was meant.
I got my heart Kitty, Kylie b/c of this reason. "He" didn't necessarily forbid her to get rid of her but he made Kylie's life miserable while she was there. And then one nite when my friend came home late from school, Kylie's brother Max, mysteriously disappeared, never to be seen again, who knows where he is.
He thought she was out screwing around, I suppose. Then she married him.

[Ally Cat's Mommy]

I voted YES because my hubby has put his foot down and said I can't get another cat.

(For the past month, leading up to my birthday, he has been asking "What do you want for your Birthday", and I kept answering "Thomas" - the tail-less Russian Blue at our shelter - to be renamed Sergei).................

Needless to say I DIDN'T get my birthday wish

He does have a couple of compelling reasons:

- I am working long hours and won't be around to handle the introduction
- We won't be in the Mid East forever, and the costs to ship animals are exhorbitant (he knows that once it's in the family it will not get left behind when we leave)
- We already have one cat which was not planned for (Ally just kind of "showed up", I got agreement from him to keep her until I could home her - but I didn't exactly try very hard).
- Ally WILL NOT take it well - she goes absolutely MENTAL whenever I have rescue kittens in our spare bathroom - so he anticipates real behaviour problems from her if we get another cat - and I am inclined to agree.

He is now VERY insistant that any strays I rescue (usually from dumpsters / side of road etc) go straight to the shelter as soon as possible.

My "head" agrees with his reasoning, but my "heart" just wants to open up our caring home to another shelter animal, and give it a better life!

I can tell you one thing however - If I was single, my house would have a lot less hi-tech home theatre equipment, cars and motorbikes, and A LOT MORE ANIMALS!

At the end of the day, I could probably maniputate the situation, throw a huge "wobbly" and get my own way. But I don't think anything in a relationship should be "won" by emotional blackmail. There are things I feel very strongly about, which he has compromised and given up for me (like Sky Diving)- I asked him to stop and he did. So I guess one of the keys to a happy marriage is the ability to compromise, in order to keep the peace!

[Barbara]

Originally posted by Soledad


As for the husband always having the final say, I think Sam and I would both die laughing over that rule.

Siegmar and me too!!!

But I think there must be a veto option for a partner. I remember the friend (and later husband) of a friend of mine who had his superbike in their living room. He just wanted to see it all the time. Ok -in a case like that I would say NO and so I have to accept that after the exchange of arguments there could be some things that just can't be decided by one person saying "I absolutely need it".

Of course: if one partner can't live without a pet and the other just doesn't stand it and if this question has a high priority for both of them -then maybe that was not a relationship made in heaven

[lbaker]

Before my husband & I were married I had a large dog and so did he. He needed to find a "safe house" for his dog after Grizzly got into trouble so I ended up with him. We laughed later about how we HAD TO GET MARRIED because he wanted his dog back and I wanted my mother out of my house I also had a few cats. As our dogs became older we both knew we needed a young dog to learn from the best, our two big ol' dogs. We ended up with the CheekyBitch from a friends litter. After our two older dogs finally went to RB we both knew Cheeks (and we) needed another dog. Then I also came across two more kittens. There never was a decision to be made. We both just knew what was needed. Now my husband is taking care of our big ol' dogs at the Rainbow Bridge & I'm taking care of our four dogs (and my sons three) and my two cats (and my sons three). End of story, at least until the next dog or cat finds it's way home.

[cubby31682]

I voted yes. We got Cubby, after we thought I was pregnet which I was very excited about, then when I found out it was my body going through rough times with stress (at the time I didn't know stress could do that to you) I got Cubby because I was heart broken. It's stuff like that, that really makes him see what makes me happ and what makes me derpressed.

A few months back one day, I tried a new litter, Cubby hated it. So of course his way to tell me and hubby that was to urinate on hubby's jeans. Hubby was very mad the only thing he would say was tomorrow the cat is going to a shelter, after I had a screaming battle with him telling him if I have to get rid of my cat then I am getting rid of him. Which I wouldn't do but it worked. I had to go to the store and get new litter and Cubby hasn't done it since. I also explained to hubby when Cubby did that, that it could have been in the change of litter. I never used the kind that I bought before and I wanted to try something new. That will teach me not to do that anymore.

I still love my husband no matter how many times we argue, or how many times we have to argue about my point of view. He was raised watching his dad be a control freak. Which he of course became after many long days and nights of arguing with him, he is slowly changing.

My parents (when my dad was still alive) they basicly lived seperate lives. My dad always told us no more cats, but when we would bring one home he was always the first one picking them up when it was time for him to go to bed, carrrying the cat to the bed and putting him on the bed then covering the cat up with a little blanket. He also claimed he "Hated cats" but he cuddled them more than we did.

Just my point of view and some of my life.

Katie

[G.P.girl]

well my mom wont let me have a dog or a cat or guinea pigs or a hamster or a rabbit or a lizard or any of the pets i want. except fish.
i get to get fishies!!
so i'm going to have to wait till i'm 18.....

[lovemyshiba]

Apparently I voted already, I'm sure it was that my husband wouldn't forbid me to get another dog. I looked at the date on the original post, however, and that was 2 dogs ago!!

When I found Riley in the parking lot of the spca, my initial instinct was not to take him, but my heart won out. My husband found out as I was driving home with him, and he fell in love with him. I did most of the work with Riley. It was horrible timing to get a new dog, let alone a puppy. I got him on a Friday, and we moved into our house on Tuesday. So much chaos already, and add to that a little, unhousebroken, whiner. But I love him, and cleaned up his messes, took him out all the time, and was patient with him--I just love him so much.

With Jada, it was my husband who wanted another dog--I was actually not too keen on the idea. Well, we saw her beautiful face staring at us through the kennel door at the spca, and I knew she was ours. As it turns out, she has been such a saint that we barely know another dog is in the house--a few more piles out back to clean up, and some more food to dish out!!!