Dearest Roman, what an adorable desert mouse, or Gerbil you are! You're so pretty with that soft-looking grey and white coat, those cute pink paws, and that sweet face with the long whiskers and lovely big dark eyes. You have the most delightful personality, too! You live in an aquarium with your dear person's sister's desert mouse, Luise. You love to play outside your home in your dear family's living room or kitchen. When your person calls you, you look to see if he/she has food for you! You even like to nibble a bit of his/her clothes if you have the chance! You all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Roman, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear Luise and person and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats and maybe a special serving of sunflower seeds and apples!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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