Dearest Rascal and Matty, what an adorable pair of pups you are! You're both so cute, so festively attired for Christmas, complete with big grins on your sweet faces! What a perfect Christmas greeting you make! It's your favorite time of year, full of gift and treats and love. You love playing around the tree and finding your presents and opening them.
And you're full of fun and love all year round! You love going for walks and seeing other animals and visiting PetSmart or Petco and going for car rides. You're very spoiled and rotten, but your dear people love you and so does everyone else, and now we do too! Rascal, you've even won Most Popular Pet contests, and we bet Matty was right behind in votes! You all love each other so very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you and your family share!
Congratulations, darling Rascal and Matty, on being chosen Dogs of the Day! We hope you and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats. And Merry Christmas to you all!
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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