Dearest Minnie, what a beautiful lady you are, indeed! You are such a gorgeous British Riding Pony, with that rich orange coat and that sweet face with the white blaze and those lovely big dark eyes. And what a delightful story of love your dear young lady Maddie has to tell! Every time she see you, her body fills up with joy because you're so much fun! You have a very feisty personality, and you're never nasty. You know how to bow on command, you play football with Maddie, and she makes treasure hunts for you with pony nuts and grass! You're very affectionate, and you love to canter and go fast and jump. You can jump three-foot hurdles! You and she love each other very much, don't you. She says you're the best! What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Minnie, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear Maddie and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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