Dearest Lady, a.k.a. Manhattan's Lady Luck, you are lovely indeed, absolutely stunning! What a beautiful American Saddlebred mare you are, with that glowing golden-orange-brown coat. You're a gifted show horse and the mother of two top Saddlebreds. You were a 16th-birthday gift to your dear young friend from her mom, the best birthday present ever!!! Now your friend is away at college, but when she comes home to visit, you canter up to the fence and call for her until she goes over and says hello. You two cherish every moment you have together! You're each other's very best friend, and you love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Lady, on being chosen Pet of the Day! We hope you and your dear young friend and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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