I sometimes annoys me that radio shows playing "Christmas Music" never play all of it - none of the sad Christmas songs. River by Joni Mitchell, Elvis's Blue Christmas, and I know there are more.

We are having a sad Christmas here at the farm. Our pretty little charcoal peahen, a baby hatched this year, is named Pearl. She is tiny for her age, and needs to be with other birds, particularly in cold weather.

She has been missing for going on three days now, and we are so worried about her. Kermit has looked everywhere we can think of, but she may be stuck in a tree somewhere, or maybe was chased by a predator. There are no feathers or signs she was taken.

Then last evening, after both of us were away from the farm all day, we came home to a horrible discovery. One of our ducks was hit and killed by a car. From where she was hit, we are guessing it was the UPS truck, as it's not a spot where most cars pull over - right before out mailboxes on the side of the road. Her name was Chick Pea, daughter of Sweet Pea, whom you all have met. She and her brother Lentil were the only surviving duckling this season, and to loose her like this is just heartbreaking.

A young man who was supposed to help Kermit yesterday down at the café, which he was running because of other absences, never showed up. He was supposed to put in hours as Community Service, because of recent bad decisions he made. Instead, he found a way to get his drug of choice, and made excuse after excuse, lie after lie, and never showed up. We are afraid he will end up in jail, and don't know whether that will just make things worse, or benefit him. He is breaking his mom's heart (she is a dear friend of ours), straining the whole family, and losing the respect and trust of the community. It's heart-wrenching.

And of course, as always, I am missing Paul, Dad, and my mum-in-law right now.

Life is good here, and I know that, but sometimes the sadness comes creeping back in.

Sending hugs to all who are dealing with loss, mourning, or otherwise struggling these theoretically "cheerful" holiday days.