Dearest Bertie, you are absolutely gorgeous! You're so handsome all dressed up in your Tuxedo formal wear, ready for any occasion. That fur looks so very soft, and what a sweet face you have! I love your bright white whiskers and eyebrows, and that cute pale-pink nose, and those lovely big golden eyes. I wish I could reach through the screen and across the ocean to Liverpool to pet you, and pet your family's three indoor cats, too. I can't, of course, but I know your loving and beloved Purrrsons will pet you all for me .
And what a sweet, uplifting story you have to tell! Your dear Purrrsons-to-be found you sheltering from the rain under their garden table. You were dirty, cold and clearly hungry, and so skinny they could see every bone in your body. You shied away at first, but they slowly earned your trust, putting a bowl of food out for you every day.
Since then they've put a beanbag out for you to sit on on sunny days, and they cleared out an old dog kennel, which is now your permanent residence and is all kitted out with comfy cushions, etc. You sit on the window sills to talk through the window with their three indoor cats. You wait for your dear Purrrsons every day, and you now come running as soon as you hear the back door open! You're so affectionate, rubbing around like mad. You've beefed up and are now healthy and happy. You and they, kitties and humans, all love each other very much, don't you. What a wonderful love-filled home you share!
Congratulations, darling Bertie, on being chosen today's Cat of the Day! We hope you and your dear Purrrsons and indoor kitty pals and all your family and friends are enjoying a fine celebration, full of fun and lovies and all your favorite games and treats.
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.
-- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery
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