Zoe was over 17 years old; her birthdate is unknown.
Zoe - aka Nutbar, Little Girl, Wrig-ged-dy Pig-ge-let, Silly Girl, Kitten, bouncing around like a pinball ...the sweetest little cat I have known.
Zoe grew up on a farm in northern Alberta. Somewhere along the way she lost half an ear to frostbite. She arrived at the Cochrane Humane Society at the age of ten with two other cats - one about 2 years old, and the other a single kitten that she was still nursing. I offered to foster her - and she moved herself right in! She had beautiful markings including a white belly with a stripe of tabby brown crossing it as if her "suit" was being held in place by a belt. She deferred to my oldest cat Oscar but was insanely jealous of Cole and would shove herself in for attention whether Cole was present or not.
Whenever I was seated at the desktop computer she would lie on her left side in my lap with my right hand holding her in place and caressing her. She also loved cheek and head rubs, and would bonk her head against my ankle in affection. When I was away for two weeks once, all three kitties were in the front hall when I came in. Zoe squeezed by Oscar and with her eyes closed she came up to me. I patted her and then she ran to the dining room and pounced on the end of her tail several times, a game she always played when she was happy. As I walked down the hallway to my bedroom she came running back to my ankle and bonkbonkbonkbonkbonk!
On April 6th I noticed a wet mark around her mouth as if she'd dipped a little too deep into the water bowl. It was bigger on Friday so I called my vet and took her in. She was due for a future dental cleaning and I thought she might have developed an infection.
The vet examined her mouth and then showed me. "She has a tumour under her tongue," I was told. The vet rubbed Zoe's cheeks and Zoe looked at her. "And she's such a sweet little girl!"
I was in shock. All oral tumours in cats are malignant. Dr. Tara said that surgery could be done but it was tricky as the area contains many many blood vessels. And even after surgery the tumour would return in about a month.
Dr. Tara looked at me and said, "You aren't ready, are you?" I wasn't, I just wasn't. They gave her an injection of antibiotics and me some prednisone to take home.
I already had gabapentin at home - the vet wanted her to have that also. I got recovery food and a larger liquid syringe with which she was fed, watered and medicated.
On April 12th it was time. She wasn't going to get better. Sometimes the saliva around her mouth was darkly tinged with blood, which was heartbreaking to see. She was not only unable to eat and drink - she couldn't even groom herself.
I had a number of minutes alone with Zoe after she was given the sedative. At one point she became her old self - wanting (and getting) cheek and head rubs like crazy, jumping down and bonking her little noggin sideways on my ankle.
Her passing was very peaceful. I kept telling her I loved her. I said I was so sorry this had happened. It was no one's fault.
I have no regrets about my decision except that the cancer had happened so suddenly. I miss her so very much.
Zoe, I love you and miss you. Thank you forever for being in my life.
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What a beautiful and sweet girl she was. I know how bad it hurts, but try to think of the good times you had together, and know she is at peace now. I hope it will be a comfort that she had a good and long life with you. 
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