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Thread: A different kind of guilt

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    A different kind of guilt

    Lately, I have been struggling with the thought that I extended Willa's life with all those medications for selfish reasons.
    So far, my guilt was about the euthanasia, even though deep in my heart I know that it was the right thing to do.
    Now I have doubts about what I have done for (or to) her with all the meds.
    Up to her last day, she never seemed uncomfortable, and she always ate (with the help of meds), was still somewhat playful and always affectionate.
    So I'm not sure why I feel that way. Maybe it was the remark of her vet. She gave me a gift after Willa's passing and she said that she had it for almost a year, because she never though that Willa would live that long. Of course, it was with her help.
    Thank you for letting me ramble on. It has been a little more than 2 months now, and suddenly, after I thought I was doing ok, I'm in a dark place.
    Willa (5/1/1997-3/17/2018)

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Copenhagen, Denmark - GMT+1
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    15,952
    I understand how you feel. I think we all doubt our decisions of whether or not it is the right time to let our kitties go, but I'm sure you did the best for her. I too doubted whether I should have let Fister go when I did, but he didn't eat or drink for the last two days, and the last day, he didn't come up on my bed. In the period before that, he got some appetite boosters, but they only worked for so long. I could not temps him even with his favourite foods. So I knew it was time. I think we tend to keep our cats, hoping a miracle will happen, but it rarely happens. We should not let our cats suffer for the sake of us missing them, if they don't have some quality of life.

    Sending big (((hugs)))



    "I don't know which weapons will be used in the third World war, but in the fourth, it will be sticks and stones" --- Albert Einstein.


  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    USA, previously Europe
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    Thank you, Randi!
    It would be so much easier if we were able to only focus on the wonderful life we gave our pets, and all the joy and love they gave us in return.
    Willa (5/1/1997-3/17/2018)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    20,163
    Oh, I am so sorry, Heidi. I have no doubt that you gave Willa the best care possible and she did not (does not) regret your extending her earthly time if that was what happened with the medications. If she was comfortable and affectionate, then she enjoyed her time with you as much as you enjoyed it.

    I've had thoughts somewhat along that line about Poppy.

    I don't know if there are any totally-right decisions to make in these circumstances. Remember the love you and she shared, and still share and will always share.

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}} and ~~~~PURRRS~~~~ and from Pat and Sparkler, and Poppy Angel too, of course
    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,827
    Don;t beat yourself up. Willa had a wonderful life with you, and she is in a better place now beyond illness and pain. Do not let regrets rob you of precious memories and time - that is a lesson we should learn from our beloved pets.

    Sending comforting prayers your way.
    I've Been Frosted

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    Guilt is a terrible burden, do not let it weigh on your heart, it will make you sick. Karen is right, lessons are learned and sometimes not so easily. I remember like it was yesterday, the vet said that Shadowmans heart was so diseased, on a scale of one to ten she said it was a 10. She said it was not fair to Shadowman to let him go on any longer because he was suffering. In my infinite wisdom and denial, I took him home. Of course the vet went on holidays the next day and I actually phoned her ( wherever she was) Are you absolutely sure, must I ??? She was an angel and listened to me sob and cry. Of course I did the right
    thing the next day. The point is that we do our very best and these decisions are crucial, we do not make them lightly and given all of the love involved, sometimes almost impossible IMHO. I have remembered all the wonderful times and had many, many more cats to spoil obscenely since then. I shall carry on in that spirit for as long as I am able, no time for regrets.....to busy buying cat food, cleaning up barf and vacuuming. You did your very best, no doubt about it! 🤜🏻🤛💕❤️🌹

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    Thank you all so much!
    I feel better today because of all of your thoughtful responses.
    Willa (5/1/1997-3/17/2018)

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