I need to vent

[Taz_Zoee]

I know it is Thanksgiving and I should be thankful and all that. But I just need to get this off my chest and can't do it on Facebook. It doesn't matter if nobody responds to this. That's fine.
It is very sad, but I seriously cannot stand to be around my father! Sure, he is my dad and I love him for that. He did a fine job raising us. Instilled "some" good values in us, I like to think. But since I've become an adult I don't like him as a person. He is self-centered and thinks everyone else is below him.

Last night I was in the kitchen and he was sitting watching TV (his back is to the kitchen). He heard that I was eating some desert roll things. I had one small piece and was cutting a larger piece in half. He commented that he hadn't even had any yet. I said - you don't need any. He made some comment and I said - because you are diabetic. Any other person would see that as me actually caring about his health. Not him! He had to make a comment about being overweight. I said - yes, you are overweight too. That's why you shouldn't eat them (and I kinda giggled). He then implied that I am overweight. Well, this just shows how much he pays attention to me. I've lost over 30 pounds in the past year. I am NOT overweight!!! So then he says (and he's said this to me all my life) "well you will be if you keep eating like that". GRRR!!! I said no I won't! He said why not? I said because I exercise and eating two small pieces of this is not going to make me overweight. OMG, I just can't stand him!!!

People always have a hard time believing me and say things like "he IS your father". Yes, he is my father. And like I said, I love him for that. But I don't like him as a person. He is not a good person. Although he thinks he is GREAT!

Ok, rant over. I do feel a little better.

[Karen]

Understood, it is good you realize that he is not gonna change, but you can deal with him, and know that even if he doesn't understand, you've tried your best.

[Catsnclay]

My father was just like that, always right & had to get the last word in. I learned how to deal with this. It is not easy to do, but if you let him 'win' with the last word......it's over.
Just smile at him, let him think he is right, which of course he isn't always, but it stops the bantering back & forth between you. Change the subject or just stop talking, just do it all with a smile. It works.
Good luck !!
Bunny

[Taz_Zoee]

Yes, I am learning to ignore him. That's why I usually just avoid him. But today we had okay interaction.
Thanks for the replies, ladies.

[chocolatepuppy]

We don't choose our family. I could write a book about things I don't like about my mother. Dealing with her more now that dad is gone has been a real eye opener.
Just be yourself and don't let anything he has to say upset you. It's hard when it's one of your parents. I know.

[slick]

I loved my Dad and he did an awesome job. My brother, on the other hand, is an a_hole, plain and simple. I loathe him so much that if I never see him again it will be all too soon. He thinks he's "all that" and more. His sole focus in life is to have as much money as possible and screw anyone who gets in his way. He hates animals...need I go on? Rather than go on and on, just take my word for it. Thank God I only see him a couple of times per year. He is family and I love him because he's my brother but I hate, hate, hate him as a person.

I'm not really sure what to say about your Father. I can only relate to you my experiences with elderly relatives. When I say elderly, I'm not implying that you are old so please don't assume that. I find that elderly men get cranky and speak before they think. Take my 85 yr old Uncle for instance...we just moved him into a care home and one week into his arrival we are getting phone calls that he is verbally abusing the staff. A friend's husband, a neighbour and another gentlemen that I knew all were not pleasant to be around. Maybe it's a "man" thing, I don't know. If you ever find an answer do let me know.