Wedding Dilemma- What Would You Do?

[Catty1]

No, her behaviour cannot be excused. However, if she is made aware of this and still refuses to get it checked, then there are definitely no excuses!

If she could read a list of the symptoms on her own, then a light might go off.

[sparks19]

My neice didn't get diagnosed until she was 24 after both her parents died and I realized her behavior wasn't just rudeness it had to be more. Sometimes folks don't see the forest for the trees when they are too close. I still have a hard time with her and don't excuse her behavior.

This

A friends husband was just diagnosed with aspergers and he is in his late 30's. No, not everything is a mental illness or a diagnosis... but sometimes it is.

[Cataholic]

I am in the minority. At near 47 years of age, I have never met someone with an undiagnosed or unknown mental illness after about the age of 5. To me, most of that is pretty obvious. Most. Pretty. And, by met, I mean had more than a passing acquaintance with. Sure, I do know people that we say, usually not directly to their face, "they struggle with social situations", but never like the OP puts out there.

I have met more than my fair share of people that are jerks. Big, fat jerks. That can't say a simple hello, or exchange a pleasantry, that people walk on eggshells around. Unless and until they are ready to engage. I guess they all could have an undiagnosed mental illness...but I just don't think so. Possible? Sure, probable? Unlikely.

Sparks- were you aware that something was 'off' with your friend's husband?

[snakemama]

I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until I was well into my 20s. Once I told people I was, half a dozen or so people answered with some version of "Oh yeah, I should have guessed, you totally ARE bipolar!!" -_-

Some people are definitely just jerks, and some people really do need some help.

[moosmom]

I'd elope.

[sparks19]

I am in the minority. At near 47 years of age, I have never met someone with an undiagnosed or unknown mental illness after about the age of 5. To me, most of that is pretty obvious. Most. Pretty. And, by met, I mean had more than a passing acquaintance with. Sure, I do know people that we say, usually not directly to their face, "they struggle with social situations", but never like the OP puts out there.

I have met more than my fair share of people that are jerks. Big, fat jerks. That can't say a simple hello, or exchange a pleasantry, that people walk on eggshells around. Unless and until they are ready to engage. I guess they all could have an undiagnosed mental illness...but I just don't think so. Possible? Sure, probable? Unlikely.

Sparks- were you aware that something was 'off' with your friend's husband?

I've actually not really spent much time with him. They don't live near us and I moved away before they were married.

But he's not of the "jerk" variety... just sort of socially awkward and has difficulty understanding certain things and situations like he just can't process it "normally". His parents are also not of the "involved" variety so it may have been evident in him as a child but it's entirely possible they just didn't care or didn't notice or thought he was just a pain.

[sparks19]

I wasn't diagnosed as bipolar until I was well into my 20s. Once I told people I was, half a dozen or so people answered with some version of "Oh yeah, I should have guessed, you totally ARE bipolar!!" -_-

Some people are definitely just jerks, and some people really do need some help.

My niece is the same. She was just diagnosed recently with Bi Polar disorder. When she's on her meds she's on a pretty even keel but when she decides she doesn't need them anymore and gets off of them... OY VEY. there were definitely signs and now that she has the diagnosis it seems so obvious but a lot of times we just chalked it up to problem child, moody teenager, and just being a witch.

I really suspect my sister has it, too. Everyone has mood swings but these kind of mood swings are NOT normal and it goes way beyond just being a jerk. she can go from happy go lucky laughing to "I hate you and want to ruin your life" sort of rage within seconds. she's 40 now.