Talk about "a change of plans"

[sasvermont]

Today I had plans to go visit my Mom in the nursing facility where she has lived for about 3 years.

I got a call at around 7:30 this AM from a nurse at the facility. "Could I come and get her"....... W H A T?

My Mom is totally dependent on medications and injections and uses a walker, wears depends (TMI) and has dementia. She is pleasant enough, just totally dependent on care from others. She cannot go up and down steps.

Here's the deal. There was a fire down the street and the power on their block has been cut. There is no heat in the house. The facility is an old Victorian house converted to handle around 10/12 ladies in need of nursing care.

My response was "And do what with her"?

I did ask them if they had an emergency generator and their response was that they we thinking about buying one. I suspect the fire department could come up with one in a hurry if they would just ask.

Anyway, I left it that they would have to deal with the situation the best they can. My Mom pays dearly for this arrangement and they should be better prepared. I don't think they were thinking when they called me - as I have not taken care of her medical needs for years now. I am not a pansy, just think she deserves her independence just like I do. I have never given her an injection or tested her and can't learn on the fly like they expected me to do today!

Yikes.

I feel a tad guilty about letting them deal with it, but I don't have much of a choice.

Also, we have about 10 inches of snow on the ground from yesterday and the sidewalks and drives and roads are still a mess. She wouldn't be able to make it beyond the car with her walker to my front door.

Happy Thanksgiving. I will not be eating dinner with my Mom today, but am still grateful for all I have and that my Mom is ok and will not remember this event anyway, as she has short term memory loss!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here on Pet Talk. Be safe. Be happy. Be thankful.

Sas and her campers

[Karen]

Wow, you would think a place like that would have a generator as a matter of course! I hope everyone stays safe!

[dukedogsmom]

They put you in an awkward position. I wouldn't have been able to do that, either. Strange that they're not better prepared for emergencies. Maybe you and your mom can be together soon for a visit. I think its natural to feel a little guilt but she's where she can get the best care.

[lizbud]

Well, they have a working phone, they called you. Wonder if they called
the fire dept or police for help in getting a generator? I can't imaging them being
turned down for help considering their ages & the bad weather. Maybe they
called you as a first impulse without considering all of their options.

I imagine leaving her place would be very confusing to your Mom and all of
the other older folk. I did wonder if the workers there made it into work
in spite of all the snow on the ground?

I hope this all works out for you & for all of the patients. Prayers for them
all.

[pomtzu]

OMG - what a horrible situation to be in. I can understand completely, you not wanting to upset your mother's applecart more than it already has been. I think it's rather careless that the staff of the home would ever expect you to do it anyway.

And I'd say that they certainly have fallen down on THEIR job and responsibilities. Considering your geographic location and the unpredictable weather that you may get more often than the rest of the country, you'd think it would be MANDATORY that they have an emergency generator, or a backup plan for somewhere to take the patients in a situation such as this. I know it must cost an arm and a leg to live at such a facility, and to have them not be prepared, is totally ludicrous IMO!!! WOW - just WOW!!!

I hope that you get to see your Mom soon, and that she understands (even maybe a little), why you couldn't be with her today.

Go give Prue a big hug - and feel better.

[Asiel]

Quite incredible that something like this would happen in a nursing facility. And too call you and expect you to be able to take over on the drop of a hat is rather silly IMO. I thought all places like that were required to have back up services, something sounds weird, almost like they might have wanted to unburden themselves of some patients. Like you say, those homes cost a lot, I know when we had to get my mom in a home I was thankful she had money to pay for it because I'm not keen on government run places.

It is sad that you couldn't spend Thanksgiving with your mom but a blessing she won't remember the day and what went on. I hope everything is back to normal by now.

[Freedom]

Er, I am shocked that they did that! Flabbergasted, actually!

As someone said, relocating dementia patients can be very confusing for them. And with meds involved . . . . Geesh!

I don't think you should feel guilty (of course, I would feel that way too). That is way out of line. Much too much with the meds and all, to have it just dumped on you, or anyone.

I still have my Dad here at home, with the dementia, the diabetes, the Depends, and a total of 17 pills per day and the 4 insulin injections. It is a LOT to manage. And to pick it up on the fly like that? You made the right decision.

Sorry you didn't get the holiday dinner w/ your mum. Perhaps once the utilities are back on, they can reschedule that meal.

[Barbara]

Sallyanne,
I am so sorry to read this. I am sure you made the right decision- and the generator problem should be solvable.
I know you took care of your mom for quite some time but she was not so much depending of things like injections etc. at that time. Nobody can be expected to just do that in a split second. I wonder what they did with some otrher lady who may not have a daughter.
And would they have called a son? Just asking....
I hope you have nevertheless some relaxing days and hope you can see your mom soon.

[gini]

I sure hope that all is resolved for you. What a horrible situation they put you in - and your Mom as well.

[sasvermont]

I went there today and all was calm. They took a few of the ladies to the manager's house for the afternoon. The power came back on right before dark. So everyone got to sleep in their beds. The manager was not in today, so I couldn't talk to her. There was a nurse (?) there today, who was crying off and on the entire time I was there. I didn't ask why.

Once things settle down, I am going to say something to the manager. Not complain, but suggest. I wonder if she knows what the person on the phone said to me. It just didn't make any sense. Will you come and get her. Were they going to give me a doggie bag of pills, needles, depends etc. and let me drive around the town all day? Maybe they thought I would check into a hotel? I just don't think THEY were thinking when those words slipped from their mouths.

My Mom was fine today. She did say that the manager lives in a dumpy house. Hehehehehehe. My Mom can be cruel sometimes. She doesn't mince words. As long as you don't mess with my Mom's meals and sleep, she is good. She can be a bit of a snob, but oh well, she's going to be 92 in January.

Thanks for all the concern from you all. It was a confusing situation for sure. But it all worked out just fine in the end.

Happy Thanksgiving a day late!

[Freedom]

Glad things have settled down. And your Mum is "her usual self" ha haaa.

I think talking with the Manager is a great idea!