Monday Giggles

[happylabs]

Posted from another forum I am on:

• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

• I had amnesia once -- or twice.

• I went to San Francisco and I found someone's heart. Now what?

• Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

• All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

• If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.

• What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?

• Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.

• Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

• Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

• My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

• The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

• How can there be self-help 'groups'?

• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

• Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

• Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?

[Freedom]

Lot of good ones there!

[Karen]

• Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Heck in some parts of Boston, he'd never be able to even leave his own driveway! But then again, my friend Brenda did not even learn to drive until her mid-twenties because of two things - a) the drivers around her Boston neighborhoods were truly frightening and trollies drove down the middle of the street and b) the MBTA (Boston's transit authority) basically picked her up across the street from her house and would take her anywhere she wanted to go.

It was only because she was determined to not spend another winter in this *&^$#@ state that I was able to convince her to learn to drive -
"The T doesn't go to rural Virginia, sweetie" in my 13-year-old car. "What if I do something to it?" she said.

"Brenda, it has been around for 13 years, there's not much you could do to it that hasn't already been done."

She got up her courage, learned to drive, gpot her license and promptly moved to Arlington, Virginia area. She wrote to me not long after and said "It's the most amazing thing .... you put your turn signal on, and people will slow down to let you in the lane! Every time!" And "It snows, but it all melts the next day!" I don't think she's been back North since!

[Freedom]

Ahahaaa, oh Karen, what a great story! I especially love:

She wrote to me not long after and said "It's the most amazing thing .... you put your turn signal on, and people will slow down to let you in the lane! Every time!"

Born and raised in Mass., commuter student to BU for 4 years, then later, lived in Boston for 7 years. So I understand!

[smokey the elder]

If I lived in Boston I'd sell my car and use the "T".