Dear Mr. Groucho -

Finally! Someone hears our plea! And none too soon, either - things have progressed from bad to worse around here.

Yesterday, we were subjected to outright torture, cruel and unusual punishment, in our humble opinions. We were dragged into mom's grooming shop (she calls it that, ha! It's really the shop of horrors!) where we were nearly drowned by scalding water, had some vile acid-type liquid poured all over us and rubbed in, then nearly drowned again! Then, as if that weren't enough ... we were then subjected to some torture device with blew blasts of burning hot air on us, and THEN she cut the ends of our toes off with some evil clicking device! We almost died, I kid you not! And what did she have to say after this sadist treatment .... "There! You all smell better now!" Whaaaatttt?!?!

Furthermore, today, it could not have been more than 60 degrees outside, if that. Freezing, horrendous conditions! Why, there were actually clouds in the sky part of the day - no sun! And what did she do to us?! You won't believe it - she put us outside for an eternity! At least ten full minutes! It was so traumatizing, we may need therapy for the rest of our lives! And what does she say for herself when she finally opens the door, in the nick of time, just as we were about to die from hypothermia ... "Did you go potty?" Unrreeeeealllll!

Your kind services are most appreciated, sir!

Sincerely yours,

Gia, Rocky and Iggy
The Abused IGs