Too Young to Marry?

[k9krazee]

I am a bit suprised that there are a lot of people that I graduated high school with that are married already, and I'm (almost) 22.

What bothers me is when people are rushing in to marriage because they like the idea of it (or that's my assumption of why they're rushing). If you are together, and plan on staying together, why do you need to rush into getting married? My 18 year old cousin just got married to a girl he knew for less than 6 months. And this was after the his ex broke up with him after he proposed. How can you want to marry two different people in the course of 6 months? Marriage is a huge decision! I have two 15 year old cousins that are "engaged" and they've each been dating their boyfriends for less than 4 months. Rich's 19 year old cousin got married last year and is due for her first baby soon.

It's crazy. People constantly ask Rich and I when we'll get married, but I feel like 22 is too young. I would at least like us both to finish school (he's done, I have one more year) and get a job in our field. Plus, I have NO idea how these young'ins afford a wedding (if they have one). I'm thinking about all of my student loans and when I start paying them off it's going to be $300 a month...I have no idea how we would be able to EACH pay $300/month on the loans, pay rent (or down payment + mortgage), bills, cars, etc and afford a wedding.

I think that's why the divorce rate is so high. There are stories of people marrying young and staying together forever, but I don't think that that's the norm. I think too many people are rushing in to it for wrong reasons. I had another cousin get married at 18 so they could get on welfare. Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

But hey, it's not my life To each their own.

[k9krazee]

My sister is 17 and has been dating this boy for a year. He wants to get married as soon as she finished high school (so 1 more year), and his MOM is even telling her how happy she'd be if she was her daughter-in-law. I don't think that parent's should encourage their 17-18 year old children to get married. I keep encouraging her to at least finish college first!

[RICHARD]

"We'll get married when you buy us the ring and pay for the wedding, no wait,
We'll pass on the wedding, Pay our loans for a year to get a head start on life......"


Look, Don't go crazy and think you need to married. Check out those people that spend 10 gajillion dollars on a wedding? I look at the prices and convert them into "material" things.

A 50,000 dollar wedding?


I could live off that for five years. EASY.

You are being smart by THINKING about marriage.

On second thought?


Don't listen to anyone and run your own life. It's way too short to
wake up one day and say, "Why did I ever listen to THAT crap!"


Rock on!

[Roxyluvsme13]

Honestly, I think it all depends on the person. I know a girl from my high school who got married even before we graduated, which I found really bizarre. Then I also know a bunch of people who are "engaged" or whatever and I think most of them are jumping into it way too soon.

Personally, I don't want to get married till I'm at least mid-twenties or later. Maybe even after I'm out of Vet School or what not.

I don't think ages mentioned in the article are too young per say, but I really think people should think it through a lot harder before they jump the gun and get married.

[Twisterdog]

There is no magic number.

My best friend in high school got married at 18. 24 years, 3 kids and 3 grandkids later they are still very happily married.

Was I mature enough at 18 to get married? No WAY! And I had NO desire to get married. I got married at 38, and that was just right for me.

My son is 19 and there is NO WAY he is even remotely close to being mature enough to get married. It will be years before he will ready. But, a couple of his friends in our little town got married at 18, and are doing great, four years and two kids later.

[dab_20]

I think it depends on the person, and I honestly don't care what others do. For myself, I would like to wait until I am done with school. I am in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, and we both feel there is no rush for marriage! I am only 18, and we both have 4+ years of school ahead of us. I want to live life, and truly feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with the person that I am with. There is no age for when I want to get married. I would prefer to be out of college, financially sound, and with a great guy! No matter what age that is.

I do honestly think 18 to 21 is pretty young for most people. The majority of young people that age act on impulse and don't always think things through clearly... I know I still do! I do think I am mature for my age, but certainly not enough to get married. There is no reason to rush if you are with that one person. You've got the rest of your lives!

[Amberly]

I never thought that everyone in this world has their own Dating sites. Personally, I now communicate and registered on the site meetville.com. I created a questionnaire to find a good man for life and I hope that soon I will meet my happiness and have children.

[Werona]

Youth does not play a decisive role, the main thing is that a person is mentally ready for marriage. This is the most important thing for a successful family. I got married at 23 and I think it's normal.

[wombat2u2004]

I think everyone is different, and know when they wish to get married.
My mother was married at 16, and 9 months later I popped out. Mum and Dad were married for 51 years (Dad passed away in 2000), and life was always good to them, and their marriage was terrific. Mum can now sit back and enjoy her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Me, I was married when I was 24, again at 43, and again at 59.
A sucker for punishment ????

[kitten645]

I'm sort of with Cataholic...I dont' think marriage makes sense unless there are kids involved. I know there are a lucky few that find "the one" and are together forever. I've always had long term relationships...10+ years. But I've always found that I grow and change and people grow and change and odds of us growing in the same direction aren't likely.
Regarding "celebrity" marriages, I think they are doomed no matter the age

[RICHARD]

I've always had long term relationships...10+ years.

Why?

When you can have a bunch on one day?

http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthre...hlight=affairs

[carole]

I have to agree with there is no magical age or right age to marry, for each and everyone it is different, when my niece married she was only 18 her husband to be 19, they have been together since 14 and 15 ,now happily married for over seven years and two babies as well, i was worried they were far too young, but they certainly seem very happy together.

My sister was married at 18 and also my mother, a bit of a pattern here,except me i married first time at 22 then at 34.

If i were to choose an age it would be probably around 25 or 26, because you have had time to do a few things in life, travel etc, meet various people, and still young enough to start a family, although that does not seem to be the case nowadays, as women are choosing to have their children later in life.

I had a child earlier in life and one later in life, and i speak here personally for me it was better having them earlier in life, only because of my ill health really, otherwise it made no difference.

I just cannot imagine ending up marrying the men i knew when i was 16 or 18, but then i still made a mistake at 22, so you see age does not necessarily help you to make the right choice,but for me when i was younger i simply had no interest in marriage or children.

[RICHARD]

I think everyone is different, and know when they wish to get married.
My mother was married at 16, and 9 months later I popped out.

Why and where was she hiding you?

[Pembroke_Corgi]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

I guess I don't see anything wrong with this- I think the real problem is that people have to make these kinds of choices because they can't get health care otherwise.

I see no real reason to get married personally except for the fact that there are financial benefits (insurance, taxes, etc). My husband and I decided to get married when we did so I could be on his health insurance. I had no desire to have a wedding be a big production (we got married in the municipal building) and it wasn't really a romantic thing for me, just a practical decision. We were both committed to the relationship already (and already lived together) and getting married made not a whit of difference in that regard. It also wasn't a religious thing since we are both atheist/agnostic...everyone has their own reasons for marriage and I don't really think they matter.

[wombat2u2004]

Or my brother got married because (well, he won't admit this was the reason) his gf got kicked off of her parent's insurance, she's extremely diabetic, and he was joining the Air Force and she would get benefits too.

Marriages of convenience are quite commonplace nowadays. It's easier to get the house on the hill complete with china ducks on the wall, than it is being single.