UPDATE In Dog Memorial - I am back - with very sad news...

[Alysser]

I am so sorry to hear about Scruff. I remember him well. I hope things work out for your boy. I know when it is time to make a decision you will choose the best one.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers.

This has been a very hard couple of weeks with our boy. He has had some very good days where he will chew his favorite bones, try to jump up on our volunteers, play with his best bud, Piglet, etc. The last couple of days were very rough. He stopped eating and started pooping straight blood. Yet he still was very active. The stool no longer has blood, but still liquid. Tonight he ate his dinner very well and I caught him chewing his bone again. He still barks at at knock at the door, another dog barking, or just anything else he may feel the need to bark at.

I keep wondering "will I know when the time has come, will he tell me?" - this lingers in my mind so much. He is my love and I worry so about him. I worry that if I take him in now, it is too soon, but if I wait, am I making him suffer. I see so much of the "old" Scruff still that I am very hesitant to put him down. But then I see him have bad days and I wonder - should I take him in? He did not eat much yesterday but began to slowly get back to eating today. He sleeps a lot, but he breathing is regular and relaxed. He is very attentive. I just don't know what to do. The vet says he is not ready yet and when he is he will tell me - but I just don't know.

My heart is breaking.....I miss my boy.

ferky - I will take a look at the link. I also have decided to start him on back on the Azathioprine. The vet said to do it every other day verses everyday. He is still on the Pred, but if he won't eat, I won't give it to him, as I know it will make him very sick. He is suppose to have 2 a day. Yesterday he only took one, as he would not eat dinner. Today I got him to eat both meals and he took both pills. Thank you for the advice and I am so sorry to hear you lost your sweet Miles. I am dreading the day we lose Scruff.

[Taz_Zoee]

I know exactly what you are going through. Everyone told me I'd know when the time had come with my cat, Taz. I would always second guess myself and wonder if it was, then say oh, no it's not. But the last time I took him to the vet I sort of knew it was the last time. And when the vet told me she wouldn't argue with me if I decided to let him go right then, I knew it was time. (oh geez, here are the tears again, over a year later)
Like Scruff is to you, Taz was my baby boy. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I do know it was the right thing to do.

You will know (deep down, even if you don't realize it) when it is time. And when that time comes and I read it here on Pet Talk, I will probably cry for you just like I did when I said goodbye to Taz (and like I'm doing right now).

I do hope you have several more months with Scruff though.

[Louie and me]

So many of us know what you are going through right now and it is heart breaking for you. Louie was such a fighter and still wanted his treats and to go for a little walk until the very end. Deciding it was time was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, but it was time, I know that now. There will come a point when you will realize that Scruff is no longer enjoying life and his bad days far outweigh his good ones. It will break your heart but you will know it is time. In the meantime enjoy his good days and shower him with all the love you have. Our thoughts are with you.

[lizbud]

I keep wondering "will I know when the time has come, will he tell me?" - this lingers in my mind so much. He is my love and I worry so about him. I worry that if I take him in now, it is too soon, but if I wait, am I making him suffer. I see so much of the "old" Scruff still that I am very hesitant to put him down. But then I see him have bad days and I wonder - should I take him in? He did not eat much yesterday but began to slowly get back to eating today. He sleeps a lot, but he breathing is regular and relaxed. He is very attentive. I just don't know what to do. The vet says he is not ready yet and when he is he will tell me - but I just don't know.

Trust yourself & trust Scruff. You will know in your heart when he no
longer gets any joy out of life. Food or chew bones don't mean anything
to him anymore. When his only peace is sleep & the spark goes out of
his eyes, you will know. It is indeed hard to explain, but as close as you two
seem to be, I do believe you will know when it is time to step in for his sake.

Prayers for more good days than bad, and comfort & joy yet for Scruff.((Hugs))

[lute]

Tracy, I havent't been on PT in months myself. I just happened to hop on here n see this. I'm sooo sorry to hear about Scruff. I know he's your baby. When my RB Gracie was in and out of the vets I was stressed to the max. I know what you are going through is very tough. If you need anything please let me know. You know how to contact me. I'll FB my new number to you. If it's Scruff's time to go he will find a way to tell you. My RB Gracie knew when to tell me it was her time.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you everybody. Your kind words mean so much...I hope you all know that.

Scruff is doing okay. He is eating well and we caught him eating out of the food bowl - which is something he has not done in such a long time. He still loves his bones and will make sure we ALL know that they are HIS! He goes back to the vet tomorrow for another blood test, weigh, and refill on his Pred.

I have accepted the fact that he is not long for the world...but his time left is very special. He still does not do things he used to, but he does still do many of them. He will not give kisses or jump up on our laps - yep! He was a HUGE lap dog! He does still play with Piglet and Butch....he does still cuddle at times, and he played tug-a-war with Dave yesterday with his bone. He still barks at the door, gets excited when we come home or somebody comes to visit. He has accidents here and there, but nothing for us to get mad over. He looks so sad when he has one, like he is embarrassed. I just tell him "don't worry Scruffers, you are fine....we are not mad at you".

Every night before we go to bed we all (the kids too) say "good night Scruff, we love you bunches". He is now sleeping in our room with us. He will come on the bed sometimes, but mostly sleeps on the blanket next to our bed. He seems content to be by us. He actually is very clingy now. He tells me when he is hungry...which is a good thing.

Taz_Zoee - I am sorry you got upset when speaking of Taz....but thank you for sharing that with me.

Louie and me - Thank you for the kind words and I am sorry about you Louie. He sounds a lot like Scruff is now.

lizbud - Thank you - I know that deep down, I will know when it is time. I just know the pain that will come with it...the emptiness in our house when it is time....Scruff has brought so much joy to us. His passing will be very hard on all of us, especially the boys. A few weeks ago, Scruff had diareha that was all blood, we really thought that was it. Our youngest son, Tyler who is 10 saw it. A little later, after it was all cleaned up and all, I saw Tyler in the kitchen looking so sad. I asked him if he was okay, he shook his head and buried it into my chest and sobbed....that broke my heart so much. Here I am a rescuer - saving lives everyday and I cannot take my son's pain away and save his four legged brother..... I think that makes it so much more painful.

lute - Thank you dear friend.....please do fb me your number. I sure do miss you! I know how it was for you to loose Gracie - she was such a great girl, and I am so glad I was able to meet her. I know she will be standing besides Lady and Feisty waiting for Scruff when his time comes.

Thank you all again....I will update tomorrow or Friday regarding his apt tomorrow.

[Taz_Zoee]

A few weeks ago, Scruff had diareha that was all blood, we really thought that was it. Our youngest son, Tyler who is 10 saw it. A little later, after it was all cleaned up and all, I saw Tyler in the kitchen looking so sad. I asked him if he was okay, he shook his head and buried it into my chest and sobbed....that broke my heart so much. Here I am a rescuer - saving lives everyday and I cannot take my son's pain away and save his four legged brother..... I think that makes it so much more painful.

This just brought on the tears again. It's so hard to explain these things to children. Some just get it and understand it, then for others it just so difficult. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and hope that everyone will find peace with all of this at some point.

[Reachoutrescue]

Taz_Zoe - thank you. He had a hard time accepting the fact that our boy is dying. He has been acting out too. Now, Tyler understands that the best thing we can do for Scruff is to love him - and to let him go.

We have decided to make arrangements to put Scruff down. He is so miserable. And though he chews his bones occasionally, is eating/drinking well, and using the bathroom - he is not happy. All he does is sleep and when he is awake (when not eating) he is looking at us with ever so sad eyes.

I will be calling the vet tomorrow and go from there.

I will keep you all posted.

Thank you all so much for all your support, kind words, and prayers.

This is, by far, the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This is my son and it hurts like I am losing my child....because I am. But I know in my heart, it is the right thing to do. I cannot let him suffer anymore. It is time to walk him to the bridge.

[caseysmom]

I am so sorry. There is so much sadness of pettalk today, its overwhelming. I hope you realize you are doing the right thing.

[chocolatepuppy]

I'm so sorry Tracy. If you're seeing the 'signs', you're doing the right thing. It will be hard, but Scruff will be at peace. We will all be here for you. {{{hugs}}}

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you Caseysmom and Chocolatepuppy.

I have been up all night, just watching Scruff and trying to find the courage to make the call I am going to make in less then an hour. Tears won't stop. But, I know, deep in my heart, I know - it is time. He is so young and it is so unfair. It is making me lose my faith all over again. Far too often have I lost loved ones at such a young age - much before their time. Helen, Uncle Rocco, Deb, Lady, Fiesty, and the list goes on. Now I will lose Scruff. I keep asking myself "is it too soon" and "how can I do this" HOW! I don't think I have the strength to do this. But I know I have to find it. The sadness I feel is so over powering - I cannot describe. I know many of you know how I feel, and thank you...but I HATE feeling so weak, so not in control, so helpless. I have to do what is right for Scruff - I know that - but it really is tearing me apart more then I EVER imagined it would.

Sorry for the whole "poor me" comment.....it is just that my feelings are so discombobulated - I can't even think straight. Again, thank you for the very kind words. They really and truly are appreciated.

[Bonny]

You have done all you can for Scruff giving him love & caring for his needs. It is so sad when it comes time to make the decision & even harder when you have children. My heart goes out to you, your family, & Scruff. We have had to make the decision many times in the past so undertand very well how you are feeling at this time. (((HUGS))) sent you, your family, & Scruff.

[lizbud]

I am so sorry. This is a heartbreaking moment that I remember too. Feelings
of dread & helplessness at the moment seem to flood your soul.

If you can imagine Scruff talking to you, as only a dear friend would do, he
might say that he does understand your pain at parting from him. It is indeed
the hardest thing to say goodbye to a best buddy. (((Hugs))) Be at peace
with whatever you decide to do, for it will be the only kindly & loving thing
you are able to do for him. (((Hugs))) & prayers for you and for Scruff.

http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/lastbatt.htm

[krazyaboutkatz]

Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear this. You've done everything that you could for him and now he'll be pain free and at peace. Whenever you decide to let him go, I hope he'll go peacefully. Please take care. (((HUGS)))