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Thread: Only in America

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Markham, Canada
    Posts
    203

    Only in America

    Don't shoot me because I'm Canadian. We do the same things except drug stores no longer sell cigarettes.

    Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


    Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


    Only in America...... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


    Only in America...... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


    Only in America ......... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


    Only in America...... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


    Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


    Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


    Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


    Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


    Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?


    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,388
    Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    Guilty as charged
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Usually in my own little world...
    Posts
    4,875
    LOL...my favotites:

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    AND

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Delaware, USA - The First State/Diamond State - home of The Blue Hens
    Posts
    9,321
    LOL - loved them all. But I especially liked the ones about:

    Mouse flavored cat food

    Doctors "practice"

    Mascara - open mouth

    Lethal injections
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Wolfy ~ Fuzzbutt #3
    My little dog ~ a heartbeat at my feet

    Sparky the Fuzzbutt - PT's DOTD 8/3/2010
    RIP 2/28/1999~10/9/2012
    Myndi the Fuzzbutt - Mom's DOTD - Everyday
    RIP 1/24/1996~8/9/2013
    Ellie - Mom to the Fuzzbuttz

    To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
    Ecclesiastes 3:1
    The clock of life is wound but once and no man has the power
    To know just when the hands will stop - on what day, or what hour.
    Now is the only time you have, so live it with a will -
    Don't wait until tomorrow - the hands may then be still.
    ~~~~true author unknown~~~~

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Lancaster, PA - USA
    Posts
    1,569
    Hey... I just don't like regular pop. LOL
    "Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."

    - Homer Simpson


    "If the enemy opens the door, you must race in."

    - Sun Tzu - Art of War

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Windham, Vermont, USA
    Posts
    40,836
    EVER WONDER ...
    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
    Because both are signs of damage, but at least we can chop off the damaged hair!

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
    Lemon juice is a good strong acid, maybe be the artificial stuff is less acidic?


    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
    Because the marketing is pitched toward humans - they who buy the stuff!


    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    Either it is by force of habit, or there are too many lawyers involved and no one wants to be sued!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
    The wool changes texture, and gets denser, and smells like wet wool! It's just that the sheep are filling out the wool, the same way if you were wearing a wool sweater, and got wet, but kept it on until it was dry, it wouldn't shrink as much! But I'm terribly allergic to it, so don't ask me to try that experiment!

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
    because English is nothing if not fun with all its homonyms!
    I've Been Frosted

  7. #7
    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    Most definitely.
    The one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind wasn't king, he was stoned for seeing light.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    indianapolis,indiana usa
    Posts
    22,881
    This one, I've always wondered about.

    Only in America...... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    I've Been Boo'd

    I've been Frosted






    Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
    Posts
    25,224
    Why do Canadians have Boxing Day and no one fights?

    Why are some parts of the Great White North green?

    Why is Canada Dry when they have so much ice?

    Where is Canada Dry bottled?

    Why are there only three downs and a 20 yard deep end zone in Canadian
    Football?

    Why the Loonie and not a Roadrunner, Big Bird or a Woody Woodpecker on the coins?

    -----------------


    WHY????

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tonic_water_uv.jpg
    Last edited by RICHARD; 08-03-2010 at 08:46 PM. Reason: cool science fact.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Methuen, MA; USA
    Posts
    17,105
    Thank you for a good chuckle as I get ready for bed tonight!
    .

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