My son is engaged!

[happylabs]

Okay, I know this is a pet site but this is a BIG deal for me. My son is 24, college graduate and accepted a job in his field in county government. What more could a mom ask for? Friday night we went to dinner, myself, my daughter and her boyfriend and my son and his girlfriend/now fiance'.

Before the salads were served Nicole put her hand out and they told me about their engagement. I could not be a happier mom. I love Nicole and was hoping some day she would be my daughter-in-law.

So now I need advice. Any mom's here been mother of the groom? I have been googling duties, etc. It seems I have only experienced mother of the bride duties in my family as I have two sisters and between them they had 5 daughters!

I also have to say that my son is a bit of a comedian. After dinner on Friday night I made the comment that I had no clue what my duties were. He said, "stay out of it!".

I welcome any comments and suggestions.

[Randi]

How nice for all parts! I'm sure you'll do whatever is right. One thing you could do, is tell them that you'll be there if they get problems with anything - otherwise, try to follow the below suggestion. LOL!

Friday night I made the comment that I had no clue what my duties were. He said, "stay out of it!".

[Cataholic]

WHAT? Little boys really don't grow up to marry their moms?

Congrats! I would do as much or as little as they want. Let them set the tone. AND, start shopping for a lovely dress now.

[pomtzu]

I married off 2 sons, and neither had huge formal weddings with certain protocol to follow. I was just there and available for anything that they asked for help with - which wasn't much.

[Karen]

Be there when they need it, gather together a list of family and family friends for your side - everyone you can think of, and if you're ambitious, sort it into "must invite" and "could invite" and "only if you're lacking bodies to invite" for him. Asterisk females if they are having a girls-only bridal shower.

Ask Nicole when they have settled on colors for the wedding to let you know, and shop for your dress according - you needn't match, you just shouldn't clash!

Ask Nicole if there's anything you can do to help, and be gracious if she says "No, thanks!"

[moosmom]

HappyLabs,

Congrats!! Do they have a date set? My daughter is getting married June 4, 2011 of next year. She's got the majority of the big stuff already done, so she's way ahead of the game.

I try not to meddle and am there for any questions or help she asks for. I'm sure as the date gets closer, I'll get more involved, but only if she asks me to get involved.

I'm so happy for you!!!! And your son, of course.

[prechrswife]

Congratulations to your son! As for duties, the big thing my MIL did was put together the rehearsal dinner, and my in-laws paid for our honeymoon.

[Marigold2]

Congrats to all. A happy and stressful time for sure.
Years ago the grooms family paid for all the drinks at the reception but rules have changed so much. Grooms help pick out wedding dresses, many parents are divorced and there are step mom and step dad and half and step siblings.
I would invite her parents and the kids over for dinner and ask what you can do to help. Some families have a lot of money, some don't.
When son 3 got married hubby and I did the pictures for them. When son 2 got married I spent a ton of money at Bed Bath and Beyond.
Maybe your son wants to go on a honeymoon that is extra special and you might want to help pay for that or maybe a down payment on a house.
So many opinions..............So again my advice is to get together with the kids and her parents and see what they need and want and go from there.
And then enjoy this special time. It's gonna be great.

[moosmom]

I agreed to pay for the photographer. I give my daughter $100 a month to put into an account for that purpose. The photographer is $1300. I also want to surprize her by paying for her wedding jewelry, which is customer made to her specifications. $365. That will come out of any pet sitting jobs I get.

It IS a stressful time for all. Little details. I asked them where they want to go and found out they want a cruise to the Caribbean. They're on their own there. Ex-hubby is paying for the reception.

[Pinot's Mom]

"Ask Nicole if there's anything you can do to help, and be gracious if she says "No, thanks!" "

Best advice I could think of, Karen, I totally agree. Leave it up to them how much you should be involved, just let them know you're supporting them and will be there if needed.

Congratulations to you and the happy couple!