Dilema should I rehome Star?

[StarandBratsmom]

Hey everyone. It's been awhile since I've visited here, I hope everyone is doing great. Alot has changed for me, I got married last summer, and now I am pregnant and due to have my daughter in July. Star has been with me pretty much the whole time.

Star is about 6 years old, and I've had her as a kitten. She's my kitty child and I am very attached to her and she's attached to me. She's been an indoor/outdoor kitty for awhile. We got rid of her litter box because she is house trained, like a dog. She scratches at the door to go outside to potty. Then she comes back in. My dilema is for the last few months, my husband keeps getting an allergic reaction to something. His mouth or around his mouth will swell up. We have no idea what from. So the doctor mentioned that cats are the number ONE reason for allergies and asmtha. My husband has both but he tolerates Star (he loves her too, tho he won't admit it.)

So to help this allergy, I put Star outside and not allowing her inside. It breaks my heart because she stares in the window meowing to come in for cuddles with Mom. I visit her outside to help the transition, give her treats, but in the back of my mind, I worry sick because of outdoor dangers. It makes me cry, of course Im hormonal because Im pregnant. I am also alone during the days and Star has been about my only companion. Nothing like purrs and head bumpies to cheer you up. Anyways, since she's been outside, she seems off. Kind of depressed. I hate seeing her like this. My next thing is since she is a cuddler, and sooo very friendly, will she harm my baby? She's quite hefty and I fear she may want to be sweet to my baby and accidently harm her. So being outside seems logical in two ways. Other than her being so sad, will she get over it? My mom who lives pretty far has offered to take care of Star, but she'd only be an indoor cat which is great except my nieces live with her, she hates my nieces, she runs from them every time she hears them, but she's so laid back once they catch her. My mom will no doubt love her and spoil her the way I do, but I will miss her. Just thinking she may have to go, depresses me and makes me tear up, but what should I do? What is best for my husband, my baby, and for Star? What should I do?

[Grace]

Tell your husband to get tested - to be absolutely certain he is allergic to the cat.

As for Star - if someone you loved for years suddenly shut you out - wouldn't you also be "off"? I sure would.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Please don't buy into those old-wives tales. I know many, many people who had cats before the kids were born, and not a one of them ever had any problems.

The final decision is up to you.

[Karen]

First of all, your husband should get his allergies tested, and not just assume it is the cat. Take it from me, there are many, many things that can cause an allergic reaction - I have many of them!

Second, cats are remarkable astute about babies. They will not lie on top of a newborn - it wiggles, smells funny, can erupt into a fire siren-like wail, and can vomit - nothing a cat wants to deal with.

[moosmom]

I think your doctor is a jerk. Animals are NOT the only cause of allergies and asthma. Plants, shrubs, trees, flowers, dust (in and out of your house) are also huge problems with people who have allergies. Get a second opinion. I feel very sorry for Star. She's been in your life since she was a baby and now you shove her outside??? She's better off with someone else who can truly care about her not just for her, who will keep her inside, away from predators.

I don't mean to sound heartless, as I've had to rehome a couple of my own cats. But not because I got married and had a baby.

If you DO choose to rehome her, please, PLEASE do a very thorough background check including vet names and phone #'s, at least 3 personal references, and a home visit, ask them how they feel about their furniture and what they would do if they saw Star start to scratch their precious belongings. If they mention declawing, reject them. Too many times (I've been in animal rescue for over 14 years) I've seen animals placed in homes that are totally in appropriate. Small children, boyfriends/husbands/significant others that would kick the cat when mad. I could go on but I think you get the idea. There are alot of weirdos out there.

Suggestion: Any friends who can take her and give her a decent home? If I lived close, I'd try and help you place her. Good luck and please keep us posted.

[StarandBratsmom]

I agree the doctor was a jerk.

[StarandBratsmom]

We want to get my husband tested, but we have no insurance and the tests around here are very expensive. It cost money we simply don't have. So the doctor suggested the cat was probably the reason, I hate people who don't understand about animals. It could just be something on her fur from being outside, or something my husband eats that he's allergic to. He has asmtha too, so that doesn't help with keeping Star inside, that was one of the reasons she became an outdoor inside kitty other than me being pregnant and unable to be around the litterbox.

I am glad to hear cats know not to get on babies. This is my first baby and I have no idea. No one in my family had cats when they had kids.

[Karen]

I think you can let Star back in, if you wipe her down with a damp cloth when she comes in, that should help get any pollen - which is everywhere this time of year - off her coat. If you can give her a good brushing outside, and then make it a habit of wiping her down - think of it as special petting time - when she comes in, it should cut down on both the pollen, and dander. Keep her out of your bedroom - if your husband IS allergic to her, she should be shedding where he sleeps, and make him wash his hands after he pets her, and to be sure not to touch his face before he washes his hands.

All these steps should help cut down on his reactions whether it is to her or the pollen she is bringing in. And then she, and you humans, can both be happier, and your husband hopefully healthier. Goodness, I cannot imagine being without health insurance as an asthmatic allergic person! The meds I am on now make it possible for me to go months without even needing my albuterol inhaler, except for right now, when there is so much pollen around Paul's blue car looks green!

[StarandBratsmom]

I think you can let Star back in, if you wipe her down with a damp cloth when she comes in, that should help get any pollen - which is everywhere this time of year - off her coat. If you can give her a good brushing outside, and then make it a habit of wiping her down - think of it as special petting time - when she comes in, it should cut down on both the pollen, and dander. Keep her out of your bedroom - if your husband IS allergic to her, she should be shedding where he sleeps, and make him wash his hands after he pets her, and to be sure not to touch his face before he washes his hands.

All these steps should help cut down on his reactions whether it is to her or the pollen she is bringing in. And then she, and you humans, can both be happier, and your husband hopefully healthier. Goodness, I cannot imagine being without health insurance as an asthmatic allergic person! The meds I am on now make it possible for me to go months without even needing my albuterol inhaler, except for right now, when there is so much pollen around Paul's blue car looks green!

Thank you Karen, that's a great idea. I am sure Star would love that too. My husband doesn't have asthma that often and rarely ever needs his inhalor. I need mine more than he does. Insurance is really high where he works. I have it but only because I am pregnant.

[JustineNYC]

Tell your husband to get tested - to be absolutely certain he is allergic to the cat.

As for Star - if someone you loved for years suddenly shut you out - wouldn't you also be "off"? I sure would.

Congratulations on the pregnancy. Please don't buy into those old-wives tales. I know many, many people who had cats before the kids were born, and not a one of them ever had any problems.

The final decision is up to you.

THIS.

Everyone told my mom I would be allergic to the cats or they'd smother me or whatever. Her cats didn't go near me once. And my dad cleaned the cat litter while my mom was pregnant.

Please don't rehome your cat. Children do much better (so do their immune systems) when they are raised around animals. And your husband can be allergic to anything. The pollen count is crazy right now, its spring, everyone is allergic right now.

[pomtzu]

I'm in agreement with Karen's suggestions. It's certainly worth a try to see if they work and make the allergy issues better. Rehoming would be my very last option, but I fully understand if that is what you feel is best. Don't cry - okay?? Here's a big [[[HUG]]].

And as for the pollen on the cars - well Paul's blue car is green - and my red car is orange!! And me - it's just sneeze, sneeze, and more sneeze, and I'm living on Benadryl! Luckily, I don't get loopy when I take it!

[Cataholic]

ACK!

This is a subject near and dear to my heart. And, I don't want to anger you with my comments- so read it twice before getting upset.

I have a 5.5 year old- he was/is my first (and only). I can't even remember how many cats I had back then. It was at least 5, but less than 9. I heard so much nonsense about 1) being pregnant, 2) changing the litter box and 3)the cats and he once he was sprung from the belly. NONSENSE! Complete and utter NONSENSE.

I changed the litter pan each and every day for 10 months. I had already HAD toxoplasmosis (which is also easily acquired from raw meat, gardens and produce). I DID opt for extra stringent hand washing during that time, though I was immune anyhow. There isn't any reason a pregnant person can't change a litter box, have a litter box in the house, have a cat that uses a litter box, etc. There is a lot of misinformation out there about cats and pregnant people, and it sounds like your doctor just might be mixed up with that.

The child loves his kitties, and has from day 1. I used a crib tent for a couple of years to keep cats from jumping in there while he was in there- not so much for his safety, though, but as a way to keep him confined. LOL. After about 2, the crib tent came down. Only one cat really ever slept with him then, though today several do. We don't have biting or scratching issues. He is a pretty good cat handler, and cat reader.

As for "allergies" LOLOL. For what seemed EONS I listened to the ped tell me my son had allergies. Uh huh. One trip to the allergist ruled that nonsense out. I listened to the ENT tell me he had allergies and a 'tic' (I guess once I told him the allergies was ruled out he had to throw something else in there). Uh, no. I think the world loves to say that people have allergies (and I know that some people do). But, there are OTHER things that cause symptoms, too. Spring, food, face soap, etc.

There are over the counter 'drugs' that help with seasonal 'allergies'. I just don't see the link between your kitty and your husband's condition (or yours, for that matter).

I am sorry that Moosmom's post upset you. I know her, and her interest when it comes to animal welfare is first and foremost. That was the perspective from which she posted. She wasn't trying to anger you, just wanted to help you adjust your thinking a little bit.

As for your kitty, I, too, would be a bit out of sorts if I wanted in and was restricted to the outside. She is probably wondering what she did wrong.

[Catty1]

There are products at cat stores - wipes and etc - to use on a kitty if there are people who have allergies to it.

A friend of mine had her daughter staying with her for a short time, and also the one dog and two cats. Her daughter got this stuff - wipes? Liquid(that was combed in)? - and it worked like a charm.

It's inexpensive - so give it a try and have your Star baby back inside.

[StarandBratsmom]

Thank you for your reply. Star seems better now outside. She's been exploring a little bit. I am going to talk to my husband about vacuuming daily, leaving her out of our room, and having him wash his hands. I will also bathe her regularly, she's been trained very well to deal with baths, and of course wipe her down and groom her before she comes in to help with pollen. As for the post earlier, it did make me cry, I kind of felt like she was trying to make me choose between my family and my cat, which both I love dearly. Of course I am at that stage in my pregnancy that I am emotional as it is, everything seems to set me off. I apologize for getting upset, but it really did upset me.

[Asiel]

I agree with Karen on htis one. Maybe wipinf the cat clean before letting her in will do the trick. Your husband can stay away from her and make sure the cat doen't go near the bed. I bet at this time of year your husband's allergies could come from a lot of other sources as everything is sprouting and blossoming. That's the worst time of year for me.
Rehoming one of my animals would never be an option for me no matter what.I think your doctor might be jumping the gun...trial and error might work wonders.

[StarandBratsmom]

The doctor was nice until he said, "not saying you need to kill your cat, but.." it really pissed me off. How could anyone say that about an animal, a very much loved animal. I have very little support in being a cat lover where I live other than my Mom. She understands my love for Star and if I absolutely had to rehome her, I'd let my mom keep her. She's got the same type of love for cats as I do and treats to spoil her even more than she already is.