First off I would like to say thank you all SO SO SO much for the prayers and well wishes. I could never repay you all. NOW, on to the story.
I had to wait six agonizing days to go back in to get my bloodwork and repeat unltrasound done. The baby just was NOT there at 5w5d pregnant. They told me that it should be, and that they believe I have what is called a "blighted ovum" (empty gestational sac) Where the baby begins to develop, but the chromosomes dont match up, and the process ends. They said that it was probable, and that I would either naturally miscarry, or have to take a pill to make it happen... I was completely devastated, and felt like I had nothing to live for ( I know I have friends, family, and pets, but inside I was just empty and distraught)...
I went to the doctor, shaking and crying the whole way. I entered the office, and felt like my whole world was about to crash down on me. Losing my kitties and then my baby, thats just too much for me to handle...
After the LONG 45 minute wait, I was called to the counseling room to talk about what was likely, and to not get my hopes up, but not too far down either. Then, after 15 minutes of torture, I was taken to the ultrasound room. I have never HATED a room so much in my life. The dim lights, the machine, made me beyond sick.
I derobed and laid down, Praying as hard as I could, when the tech came back in too start. I was already sobbing, knowing that what was about to come would crush me. I felt so violated, even though it was what had to be done.
She smiled and said "stay calm, it will be ok", to which I cried even harder
For one to two minutes (felt like FOREVER) I watched the screen through my tears, I saw no baby, it was empty. CRUSHING> Just then, when I lost all hope, I saw a look on her face. She said "hold on, this may be uncomfortable" and jerked the probe to the left. Just then, I saw a circle, and a flicker. I said " Is that my baby"??? She smiled, patted my leg and said "yes, and a healthy one at that!!!" I bursted out with the happiest tears EVER! I kept asking are you sure? She said " shhh, lets turn on the sound" And then, I heard the bu-bump of a heartbeat ! I cry just thinking about it.
After hugging the tech a million times, the doctor, and EVERY single nurse walking past me, I left with 2 pictures of my baby, and a HUGEon my face.
When I got into my car, it was so hot, I went to take off my cross necklace I was wearing. I realized that the cross was missing off of it. I had just been holding onto it while talking with the doctor. I still have the necklace, but I just hope my cross went to someone who needed it that day like I needed a sign from God a week ago. Maybe it was a glimmer of hope for someone else. I sure hope so.
I am the happiest person alive, and Thank you to EVERYONE who prayed for me and my family. I wish I could give you all a HUGE HUG! Katie and baby
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