To All My PT Friends - RIP Nonna - UPDATE Post #43

[Reachoutrescue]

I know I tend to come and go on PT quite a bit. I do apologize. Besides be extremely busy with the rescue and my chidlren, there are many circumstances going on in my personal life right now. I am going to be away again for a while. I am not sure how long, but I will pop in whenever I get a chance.

My Nauna is not doing well. (Here's the link to the last thread I posted on her about 2 yrs ago -(http://petoftheday.com/talk/showthread.php?t=123326). She is now 90 yrs old. Her kidneys are failing. She barely eats or drinks. It is very hard for her to get out of bed in the morning or even up from her chair to use the bathroom. My Aunt is a trooper, caring for her non-stop. She has moved my Nauna's camode into the living room for her. My Non loves to sit in "her" chair and listen to her Italian music....really loud! Her hearing is going as well. Doctors did blood work on her again this week, which will be the last time they will draw blood from her. We see no need for her to go through the pain of having it drawn when there is nothing they can do for her anyway. Doctor just called potasuim is at 6.5 it was 6.1 2 weeks ago. Hemoglobin is at 6.3 it was 7.7. Creatine(kidney) is at 5.4 it was 4.4. He said he doesn't know what to say, she is going down...and fast. All of the numbers last week were extremely high....now just about all are rising.

My father (Nauna's son) and mother are flying out but can not get here until late Monday night. I pray my Non makes it until then. I am going to try to get there tomorrow and I am definitly going on Sunday. I was told she can not even recognize the grandchildren any more. It took her an hour to recognize my Uncle Len who is her "baby" and was, whom we believe, always her favorite son. He is the youngest of 7. For the last two years it has been me, my sister, Gina, my Uncle Len, and my Aunt Vicky (who lives with my Non) taking care of my Nauna. My dad is in AZ, so he could not do much but call twice a day...religiously. My other Aunts and Uncles felt, and still feel, that my Nauna is a burden and my Aunt should have put her in a home back in '06. My Aunt would not have that. So I think us four are taking it the hardest, as we have grown very close to her in these last 2 yrs. We know it is going to happen, and happen soon....we just don't want it to. Nobody wants their loved ones to pass, but we can not make them stay either. I keep trying to tell myself that she will be better off and that it will be okay, but this is MY Nauna...life with out her will be so....Americanized. You see she is 100% Italian and EVERY Sunday we would go there for dinner at 1pm...made of homemade pasta (she'd get up at 3 am and roll the dough, make the sauce out of fresh tomatoes, case her own sausage, and make homemade wine from her grape arbor in the yard). If we did not have at least two plates of food....she would get so mad and say "Mangia!! Mangia!!". I was that kid that always laughed, she would look at me and say "NO LAUGH, you laugha too much!". She barely spoke english, but I understood what she said in Italian from being around it so long. I can't speak much of it, but she taught me some of the important stuff. She is our heritage, our culture. When she passes, it will all be gone. Our family will not gather around the table for Easter, Thanksgiving (all taking a turn to say what we are thankful for), Christmas, or New Years Day. I went there this year for New Years Day, as I have gone my whole life, and NOBODY was there...it's as if they just don't care anymore.

This is hitting me harder than I ever expected. I am so sorry for this long thread. I just really can't talk to my family as it will just make them upset. All they say is "Tre, she is 90....what do you expect". I know that is their way of coping, but I am not like that. I am a strong person and barely cry, but I am balling now at the fact that I can't make her better or put her at ease. Please keep my Nauna Donata Caccavella in your prayers. Please pray that she passes peacefully in her sleep and that she goes to heaven to be with my Nauno Victorio. You know, she still wears her wedding ring and all black everyday since he passed 33 yrs ago. She is amazing. I love you Nauna.

Thank you for "listening" and I will be around as much as possible. Here are some pictures of my Nauna.

My Non when she was in Italy. I believe she was about 20 here.


My Non rolling the dough for our Sunday Pasta.


My boys, Tyler (left) and Austin (front kneeling), my nephew Bailey, and their Bisnonna (great grandma).


Me, my Non, and Dave. She always told me after I had the boys and left their biological dad that she wanted to see me "take marriage" before she died. At least I gave her that. She told me the day of my wedding "you're a gooda girl. Your husband is a nicea guy." I will never forget that.

[Medusa]

I apologize for not reading your entire post; I have difficulty w/reading colored fonts sometimes but I did get the gist of it and please know that my prayers are going up for your Nauna and you. At her age, she deserves some peace. Keep the faythe.

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of prayers and kind thoughts for you at this hard time... your friends here at PT will be with you in spirit when you need us. Your Non was right - you are a good girl!

[jennielynn1970]

I love the pic of your Nauna when she was young... she was stunning! I love the old time pictures, and seeing people when they were young and people dressed so classically. Seeing her making pasta, what a great picture and such wonderful memories you have of your time with her.

I hope that your Nauna will be ok, and get better. She looks like she loves her family and loves to cook and has a wonderful loving family watching over her. You speak about her so sweetly, and with much love. I hope that when she does pass, it is also peaceful and she goes knowing how much love she is surrounded by. I wish you peace as well during this time.

HUGS from me, and I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

[chocolatepuppy]

Tracey, your post brought tears to my eyes. My grandma was 94, but it was still hard. Your Nauna sounds like a wonderful woman. I will keep your Nauna, you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.{hugs}

[caseysmom]

Your Nauna sounds amazing. I hope she has a peaceful passing. Don't worry you aren't losing your heritage, its alive in you and you will pass it to your children.

[DJFyrewolf36]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family *hugs*

[Daisy and Delilah]

My best to your Nauna, Tracy. We're thrilled to hear from you when you can post. Take care and thanks again for all you do to help all the time.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[Catty1]

Bless your Nauna! I hope you are able to see her, and that she knows who you are. She will hear your voice, if nothing else.

{{{{hugs}}}} to you, and prayers for peace to you all, especially your Nauna.

[momcat]

Countless prayers are being prayed for you and your dear grandmother. I'm second generation from Poland on my mother's side and your story brought back so many memories... every Easter Babci would make her own keilbasi, it was like nothing you ever tasted! She made her own horseradish, all you had to do was open the jar & if you were in a 5 mile radius it was guaranteed to cure whatever ails you. Like you, there are so many things to remember.

It's never easy to face the loss of such a special person in your life. As I write this, my 87 year old mother is day-to-day. Spend every moment with her that you possibly can, tell her about the good things going on in your life, and be sure to let her know how very much you love her. She will live forever in your heart

[Karen]

You will always have your Nauna in your heart and mind, and through your stories and their own memories, your boys will as well. I hope she is in no pain, and if it is her time, that she is at peace.

You will be in our prayers in this difficult time.

[Taz_Zoee]

You, your family and your Nauna will be in my thoughts. I also hope for a peaceful passing. And I hope that your family can come together for the holidays and just recall the good memories you've all shared.
Those pictures are wonderful memories for you to cherish.

[Freedom]

Tracey, I was tearing up just reading about your Nauna. See, much of what you wrote, I could write of my Nonna and Nonno. (I know we spell it differently, maybe because Dad's family is from Sicily? No idea, not relevant.) The family gathering EVERY Sunday, ALL the holidays at their home, the home made foods, the grandparents who speak little English, we the cousins understanding them even though none of us actually SPEAK Sicilian, lol. The home made pasta, the wind made from the grapes int he arbor out back. Yes, it is all so familiar to me!

Both my Nonna and Nonno lived into their 90's; says something about that wonderful Mediterranean diet, lol.

Yes, this is our culture, our heritage. But it does not die with them; it is up to us to carry on the traditions and to teach the next generation! I bet you know so many wonderful recipes from Nauna. Make those in her honor now and again, and let your boys know of their rich heritage.

I am sending you my love, hugs and prayers.

[Reachoutrescue]

Thank you for all the prayers and very kind words. They really do mean a lot. Even more knowing that you all care very much though I tend to "slip" away from time to time. I really try to be as faithful to PT as possible, but running a family and a rescue does not leave much time for a social life whether it be in person or via computer. I have found myself spending the day (while the boys are in school) replying to numerous rescue emails, screening applications, doing house checks, transporting rescued pups, and taking trips to the vets. Sometimes I think I may forget to breathe! So, I would like to say thank you for not just writing off this thread or me because of my constant down periods.

Well, after the vet with Butch today and dropping my boys off at their gram's, I didn't make it to my Non's about until about 5pm. Dave was awesome. He dropped me off there and went to pick up my Uncle Rocco (my Non's oldest son) and my Aunt Pat, about an hour away from Non's. My Uncle does not drive and My Aunt Pat can't drive in the dark. We felt they should be there too.

My Non was resting comfortably in the hospital bed that my Aunt Vicky and Uncle Len had set up for her. The Hospice nurse came in today and was very shocked to see how fast Non went down since Thursday. The nurse sent over some pain meds and sleeping aids as well as a few other things to keep my Non comfortable. She also suggested my Non be put on Oxygen, so Aunt Vicky set Non up real nice. When I went up to Non she was sleeping. I told her I was there and that I loved her. She woke up a couple of times and Aunt Vicky gave her some water and a couple of spoons of apple sauce. I went up to her and told her again who I was, since she really does not seem to be able to see or recognize anybody very well. She nodded and I told her I loved her, she nodded again. It was pretty much the same all evening, she would moan, wake up, and slip into sleep again. She kept telling my Aunt to "take it out" referring to the oxygen tube. So finally my Uncle Len gave in and took it out. Uncle Len said she really does not need it for breathing, but to help circulate her blood since her hemoglobin is so low. He said normal count is between 10 and 12, but my Non has Thalassemia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalassemia) it should be around 9 or 10. It is at 6.3. Once he took off the tube she calmed down and fell back to sleep.

We tried to convince my father to come out tonight, but he refused. He is so stubburn. We think that he may not be able to deal with it and him staying in AZ is his way of coping. He said he will be out on Monday night as planned. I just wish he would change his mind. All of Non's other children came tonight to see her. We stayed till about 9pm and then headed out so Aunt Vic and Uncle Len can get some rest. My Uncle Len, who is Non's youngest of 7, is staying the night there, he is putting a matress on the floor next to Non's hospital bed. We will be going back there in the morning, about 10am.

Many of you stated that my heritage will live on in my boys, and you are right. My sister Gina, who has always been extremely close to Non, has been teaching my oldest son, Austin, Italian. He loves learning it. He was a little upset that I would not let him go there today or go with us tomorrow, but I do not want him to see her this way. It is better he remembers Non the way she was. They are only 10 and 8 and have already seen death several times, his Papa, his Great Grandma and Great Grandpa (all on their biological dad's side of course), and then Dave's mom, Grandma Helen. They are doing okay, but I know it hurts them....they just don't really talk much about it. I will continue to teach the boys about our Italian ways and when older, teach them how to make Pasta Gravy and Pasta e Fagioli (pasta-va-zule), as well as several others. I pray that after my Non passes our family will still get together on holidays as we have for as long as I could remember.

Thank you again so much. I will update again, more than likely, tomorrow night. (((HUGS))) back to all of you.

[Maya & Inka's mommy]

Aww Tracey, sorry for not noticing your previous thread!

I'm so sorry for you and your family! I know how much it hurts to see someone you love so much, suffering so much.... I hope your dad will be in time to see her alive!! That is VERY important for your Nauna; she will go in peace then.
My Husbands' mom did same thing 30 years ago! We were on our honeymoon when she was getting worse. She had cancer of her backbone, which gave her extremely hard pain. Her family didn't want us to get married because of this. But MIL almost begged us to go ahead! Her wish was that we would come to visit her in the hospital in "full dress"!! So we did!! She was soooooo happy and admired my wedding-ring during at least 10 minutes!! She said that she was happy that her son was finally settled and that she loved her daughter-in-law (me).
Afterwards we departed on our honeymoontrip to Scotland. 4 days later we got a phonecall begging us to rush back home; MIL was dying and wanted to see us once more!
The moment we entered her hospitalroom, she opened her eyes ( she hadn't done this since our marriage) and said "Ahhh, there you two are!!" She gave us a kiss, and then she closed her eyes again. She died short time later, with a big smile on her tortured face...

I will keep you and Nauna in my prayers!!