Fellow Pet Talkers this has been a really tough and trying day and this will be a long post. I went to feed my one colony today and found a little kitty, a she I found out, about 4 weeks old convulsing, laying in the sun. I immediately scooped her up and trying cooling her off with some water while placing her in my car with the a/c running. She finally stopped convulsing but was breathing funny and panting. I tried a few drops of water in her mouth and she seem to try and drink. I knew in my heart that she was sick and suffering and I did not want her to so I decided to take her to the emergency vet to let them check her but with the idea that I would have to put her to sleep. She stayed in my lap the whole way with me crying, talking to her and petting her tiny head. The emergency vet said she had feline distemper and her chances of survival were slim but I could try if I wanted. She was already extremely weak and dehydrated. I am trying to spay/neuter a colony of 25 cats at my own expense and knowing the emergency vet treatment would be very expensive I made the decision to put her to sleep. I did spend time with her before they did put her to sleep but it haunts me. I feel so guilty that she was born in the first place, but I lost 4 weeks of trapping while the vet was out having her baby and some weeks you can't get a kitty in the trap. I feel so guilty that I had to choose, because of money, her life versus trapping others to prevent more babies. Stray/Feral colony care and trapping is zappy my emotions. The irresponsibility of people not spaying and neutering causes this. I was already depressed after leaving Pets Mart seeing all the kittens and adults for adoption and how there are more cats, dogs too, than there are people to adopt them. Then driving to the emergency vet I saw a cat that had been run over and one when I left. Man my heart is just hurting so bad and the tears are streaming. Please pray for these lost lives today and ask God to help people stop being so irresponsible with their pets. May you, "another itty bitty kitty" and you two whose lives were lost on the road play happily at the Rainbow Bridge. Even though I didn't know you three personally, I loved you anyway.