[Dear You. . .]

[cassiesmom]

Dear Cubs,

2 and 5? What is up with that?! I expected better from you under Theo and Dale Sveum. And I think a lot of other fans did too. Tomorrow you play St. Louis in their home opener and it would be very sweet if you could win.

Respectfully
West suburban third generation fan who bleeds Cubby blue


Dear Ozzie Guillen,
What were you thinking when you made those remarks about Fidel Castro? That was a bad thing to do. You can't un-say your words. Bad form there dude.
Signed,
Cub fan who doesn't root against the Sox

[cassiesmom]

Dear [name of company withheld],

Thank you for the job offer. I enjoyed the opportunity to meet with your staff. Please be advised that for my experience, your expectation for the employee who accepts this assignment, your location and the hours, your offer is low. Way low. And the sincerity with which it was conveyed tells me that you mean it seriously. The median for this position in this part of the country is about 7 percent higher than what you've offered me. It will take me at least three or four annual increases to get to where I should be now. I'm mulling it over because I need to make a change and the market is tight. However, when something better comes along, I might have to go. You emphasized in our meetings that there is great camaraderie among your staff and very little turnover, but it's not those things that keep bills paid and increase retirement savings.

Sincerely,
Hesitating

[cassiesmom]

Dear ex-jock classmate who called all the kids in band, choir and drama weirdos-- I know you watch Dancing with the Stars because your wife posted about you on Facebook. Glee, Smash, The Sing-Off --- who's weird now?

See you at our reunion,
Unreformed choir weirdo who's still singing in a good church choir

[Catty1]

Dear ex-jock classmate who called all the kids in band, choir and drama weirdos-- I know you watch Dancing with the Stars because your wife posted about you on Facebook. Glee, Smash, The Sing-Off --- who's weird now?

See you at our reunion,
Unreformed choir weirdo who's still singing in a good church choir

LOLOL! Karma's a b****!!

[Louie and me]

Dear next door neighbours - will you please stop standing there looking at my yard. I'm doing the best that I can. You are out there for hours every single day and your garden looks beautiful. I on the other hand look at my wilderness and know that with my injured hip and arthritic back I'll be lucky to give it half an hour before I have to stop and rest. You know my DH is disabled so it is all up to me and standing there staring at it will not get the weeds out or neaten up the flower beds. It's so bad these days I hide if I know you are out. How pathetic is that?

[Roxyluvsme13]

Dear Animal Reproduction exam,

I really don't care about lactation, and I know you're going to kick my butt, but please have some mercy on the poor kid who didn't get to start studying till 10 pm .

Love,
Bri

[Miss Z]

Dear Exams in General,

Following on from Bri's plea, I'd like to ask for some mercy too! I've barely left the house in 10 days. My hand is presently crippled to the point that my handwriting doesn't look like my own any more. And still I cannot remember all the heepjeeping molecules, in sequence, of the entire mitotic cycle. Please be kind and ask me about viruses. Or parasites. I can write you a book on them.

Zara