Nathan 2

[sumbirdy]

It seems that Stephanie is digging herself into a hole. It started with not showing up for the hearing and added to that now is only showing up for 4 out of 9 visits so far, not showing up for a mediation that was appointed by the JUDGE, and claiming Nathan on her income tax (tax fraud!) It says on the papers that the child has to be living in their home for 6-7 months and he's only lived with her for that 3 weeks back in July. She told us she could claim him because she bought him clothes (two, too big outfits last April) diapers (a very small package that mom had to force her to buy) and because she asked if he needed anything. If that's the case then I guess I can claim my other nephew! It's a load of crap and she expected us to believe it.
IRS is going to have a field day with this one...

[Catty1]

Yep, let her keep on digging...

REALLY cute pics of Nathan at the museum and the others are lovely!

Your brother is a handsome man. I hope he gets well - and considers getting some counselling.

HUGS to you all!

[Lilith Cherry]

Nathan gets more handsome with every picture. I sure hope he gets to stay with your family and grow up happy and that his deadbeat "mother" keeps away.
Hugs to all of you!

[sumbirdy]

Ooops...make that 4 out of 10 visits. Yep, she's really digging a hole. On the visits she does make she keeps saying stuff that doesn't make sense to us. It makes you wonder if she actually believes the stuff she is saying. She also says stuff that makes herself look bad. She missed a full month of visits (4 in a row) and said she just had other stuff to do. And in that same visit, after a month of not seeing him, she told us she took her time to get there! And just this last visit she wanted to leave 30 minutes early.
Nathan hates her visits. He doesn't want anything to do with her and this last time he kept screaming because he wanted out of the room to go to his daddy. He would get into the hallway, and if he saw me following him he would reach his arms up to me and cry because he knew I would take him back. It's so sad to watch and I kept telling him I was sorry. It's horrible we have to put him through this. And he always has a bad night afterwards.

[sumbirdy]

Okay make that 4 out of 11 now. She didn't show up today because it was raining It's not even raining that hard. Just a light shower. Plenty of people drive in the rain. I really don't understand her. If it was me I would be making it to every visit. I would live for Saturday mornings and would be going crazy the rest of the time. As most of you know, those three weeks without him almost killed me. And she's got the chance to see him every week but doesn't do it.

Anyway, Charles' lawyer called him and said they rescheduled the mediation because Stephanie's lawyer said it was her fault for not being able to get in touch with Stephanie to tell her about it. Charles' lawyer mailed him the papers AND called. I know for a fact Stephanie carries a cell phone on her and I'm sure she has a mail box! She should make herself available. The next mediation is Feb. 21st and I wonder if they've been able to contact her for that one. She's making Charles' lawyer angry because she doesn't show up for anything, but hey, I guess that's better for us!

[Grace]

I pray for all your sakes, especially Nathan, that this gets resolved sooner than later.

It should be pointed out to the judge, family services that all of this is detrimental to Nathan.

[jennielynn1970]

Unreal how this "mother" is behaving. I really hope all works out for the best and that Stephanie does NOT get custody. It just slays me that she's so detached, and would skip a visit because of rain!

[sumbirdy]

Charles went to the mediation today. He said he was intimidated by Stephanie at first because she was calm when she walked in. The mediator asked them what they wanted and Stephanie started by saying she wants Charles to pay for her rent, she said he was still on the lease (they checked that out and he hasn't been on it since October) She wants him to pay for her phone bill (he's never used it) her credit cards (also, he never used) and at the end of this list came Nathan. She wants him for 3 nights and two days of the week. Which means Charles would get him more. Usually when people are fighting for their kids they want them MORE or the same amount as the other person. She also wants child support (which wouldn't make sense since Charles would have him more). Then it was Charles' turn to say what he wanted. He said first of all he wants full custody of his son, he doesn't care about other things, and he wants the divorce. He'll settle for Stephanie having SUPERVISED visitation but nothing more. (She said nothing when he said this) He said then that she was violent and tried to kill her mother (She said that was in the past and she's not like that anymore )Then he said he wasn't going to pay her bills and she totally blew up. (Really proved Charles' point didn't it?) Charles said she was really loud and rude and kept going on an on about stuff that didn't make sense. She also made a very stupid mistake. The judge told the lawyers that he himself told Stephanie the date of the first hearing (the one she didn't show to) but in the mediation she lied and said the he didn't and she didn't know about it. THEN about two minutes later said she couldn't go to court because her boss wouldn't let her (what boss won't let someone go to court?) The mediator tried to tell her to stop talking because she interupted Charles but she kept going on and on. Everytime Charles tried to say something she would go off again. Charles said she looked like she could beat someone up. So she kept going on about stuff like she has a job and didn't know if Charles did (which he does) and she has a whole closet full of stuff for Nathan at her house (whoop-de-doo! we have a whole house full of stuff! You can't even walk through our house without tripping over stuff of his. And he's never saw the stuff she's apparantly got him.) So after this she finally stopped and said she was out of there. The mediator asked if she wanted to work things out, she said no. And then she stormed off turned around and said something along the lines of "I was going to let your parents be a part of his life, but not anymore! If you want a fight Charles, then I'll give you a fight!" (I really don't think she has much of a chance.) The mediator said that that was...umm...interesting and said she had to go file a report to the judge.

The session was scheduled for three hours...they were in there for twenty minutes.

[Catty1]

Okay, not only is she digging herself in...she just managed to dig herself a personal Grand Canyon!

Good for Charles for saying his bit clear and to the point.

I wonder if she'll get court-ordered psych assessment...for about, say, 5 years?

What a pathetic, miserable and unhappy woman! It would be great if there were any hope for her - but treatment would have to be enforced by law for the first two years, at least.

Prayers for you and your family and Nathan - this is obviously going to work out, but it will take a little more time.

{{{{hugs}}}}

[sumbirdy]

Okay, not only is she digging herself in...she just managed to dig herself a personal Grand Canyon!

Good for Charles for saying his bit clear and to the point.

I wonder if she'll get court-ordered psych assessment...for about, say, 5 years?

What a pathetic, miserable and unhappy woman! It would be great if there were any hope for her - but treatment would have to be enforced by law for the first two years, at least.

Prayers for you and your family and Nathan - this is obviously going to work out, but it will take a little more time.

{{{{hugs}}}}

I do hope she gets some help, but knowing her personally, I know she's beyond it. Everything she does has always been about money. Obviously it still is. She also said that after Charles pays off all her bills she wants him to start paying half of everything. She trips over her own lies as well. It's really pathetic. And I don't think I've met anyone quite as stupid. When Charles said he'd settle for supervised visits, the mediator asked where they would be and Charles suggested a park. So Stephanie said "What are we supposed to sleep at the park?!" Who the heck said anything about overnight supervised visits? I don't even think there's such thing.

[sumbirdy]

Stephanie has obviously got some screws loose. (or as Charles' lawyer says, she's a wacko) Mom asked what she was going to do about visitation (you know, casually, just to see what she would say.) So Stephanie said that she and a friend were going to come get him on Wednesday nights and take him to another state where her friend lives, and that her friend would supervize! Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be better for someone who is NOT a friend to supervize you? Friends tend to not say all that happened for you. And there's no way in heck she's taking him out of state! (According to her, her lawyer said this would be okay.) And then she turned around and started talking about weekend visitation. (?!) According to Charles' lawyer she has agreed to supervized visits, but she wants overnight. We just need to agree on someone to do it. Stephanie doesn't seem to care that going somewhere else for the night with people he doesn't even know would hurt him. Nathan's very sensitive. Plus, Nathan has a very exact bedtime routine, and there is only certain people he includes in it. If one person is not included in it, or if it is not EXACTLY how he is used to it being, he will cry and cry and won't go to sleep. Plus in the middle of the night he wakes up wanting to sleep with a CERTAIN person and no one else will do. (It's usually me, but sometimes he switches it around to where he wants Charles or Grandma or Pa Pa) Wonder how she would handle that? I don't think it would go over well. Mom suggested to Charles' lawyer that if this is what HAD to be done then Stephanie could come over every other Saturday night. That way Nathan is in his own environment and we know he's safe. I can gurantee I won't be sleeping.

They had a court date March 3. The lawyers and judge talked and it has been rescheduled to June 10 (2 days before my birthday). Here's to hoping she doesn't get what she's asking for.

[sumbirdy]

Here's a cute pic of Nathan in the snow. He really didn't like it at all so we didn't stay out very long.
Sorry it's so big. Photobucket wouldn't let me edit it.

[Lilith Cherry]

Lots of love to Nathan! I truly hope everything goes well and if his "mother" gets supervised visitation it is NOT overnight and is supervised by a proper court approved person. I will be praying for you all. Lots of loving thoughts, Lilith

[sumbirdy]

Nathan is 20 months today! I can't believe he is growing up so fast. Everyday he looks more and more like a little boy and less and less like a baby. I just wish he didn't have to go through all this and he can have a more normal childhood.

[Catty1]

You know, I haven't ever been a parent, though I have dealt with kids - I mean, they are people I also talk to!
However, I have read a few times over the years that even if a child has a terrible homelife (which Nathan has a great one with you), ONE great adult can make a difference - another relative, a teacher, any close adult.

Nathan has had to be near his mom a few times, I know...but his home is with YOU, and he has Daddy and all the rest of you.

LOVE and his knowing he is SAFE will do a lot - actually, I think it will save him from any real damage from his biological mom.