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Thread: Our PT joke thread

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    The Day After


    While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

    His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

    'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

    'No problem, just let me in, 'says the man.

    'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity'.
    'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

    'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

    And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

    Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

    They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

    Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.


    Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises....

    The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

    'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

    So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

    'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity'.

    The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell. '

    So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to hell.

    Now the doors of the lift open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish.

    He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more rubbish falls from above.

    The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable.

    What happened?'

    The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.....

    Today you voted.'


    "I'm Back !!"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,392
    Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?
    A: By its bark
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #3
    Glad I finished my coffee before reading that, Wom.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    Quote Originally Posted by Lady's Human View Post
    Glad I finished my coffee before reading that, Wom.
    Drat !!! Missed again.
    I'll get ya next time.


    "I'm Back !!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    8,166
    THE DOT


    FINALLY, SOMEONE HAS CLEARED THIS UP.

    For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Washington DC has recently revealed the true story.

    When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.

    On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in the United States.
    If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical Computer advice.
    __________________


    "I'm Back !!"

  6. #6
    The dot. LOL John that is so funny

  7. #7
    No wonder we were all mesmerized. Disney programmed us!
    No wonder we were all mesmerized. Disney programmed us!























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