Our PT joke thread

[mustlovedogs]

lol, I like the bad minton one

[Sugaree]

Hehe. I just read this whole thing, you guys are great.

[cassiesmom]

My pastor used this in his homily this morning...

Boxer Muhammad Ali was traveling on an airplane. While the aircraft was pushed back, the flight attendant asked him to buckle his seatbelt.

The champ refused, saying, "Superman don't need no seatbelt!"

Without missing a beat, the savvy flight attendant replied, "Superman doesn't need an airplane, either!"

The boxer buckled up without another word.

[cassiesmom]

"The Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse.

Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.

Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal."

(I apologize in advance if this offends anyone. I love play-on-words stories like this.)

[lizbud]

Never Argue with a Woman


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside
cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up,
And begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

[Catty1]

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red.......................Cherry
Yellow..................Lemon
Green...................Lime
Orange................Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.

'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, 'Oh my God!! They're a**-holes!

[cassiesmom]

Why couldn't the teenage pirate go to the movie with his friends?
Because it was Arrrrh-rated

[cassiesmom]

I played at my brother's church today (he's the choir director at his church and needed a flutist today). Between the services, the little daughter of one of the ladies in the choir told this joke.

Q: How does a tree get on the Internet?
A: Log in.