Our PT joke thread

[CathyBogart]

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine:
'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine:
'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory
for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER !)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had
waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won

[cassiesmom]

You all have probably heard this before, but it makes me smile because I'm a geriatric nurse.

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various subjects. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or I had just awakened!" The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood." She raps the table. With a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?!"


And one musician joke: What did the drummer get on his SAT test? Drool.

[lizbud]

Loved this one. LOL


SMART ARSED ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The assistant replied, "I'm afraid not, they're dead."

[theterrierman]

A scientific expedition disembarks from its plane at the final outpost of civilization in the deepest Amazon rain forest. They immediately notice the ceaseless thrumming of native drums. As they venture further into the bush, the drums never stop, day or night, for weeks.

The lead scientist asks one of the natives about this, and the native's only reply is "Drums good. Drums never stop. Very BAD if drums stop."

The drumming continues, night and day, until one night, six weeks into the trip, when the jungle is suddenly silent. Immediately the natives run screaming from their huts, covering their ears. The scientists grab one boy and demand "What is it? The drums have stopped!"

The terror-stricken youth replies "Yes! Drums stop! VERY BAD!"

The scientists ask "Why? Why? What will happen?"

Wild-eyed, the boy responds,

" . . . BASS SOLO!!!" -


__________________________________________________ ______________


A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.

The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.

She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it."

[Karen]

Hee hee! Gotta love those musician jokes!

[jackie]

^^ LOL @ bass solo!

[cassiesmom]

How do you define perfect pitch for a piccolo? Over the edge and into the Dumpster without hitting the side!

How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to change the bulb; one to pull the ladder out from under the one doing the changing; and three to complain about how much better they could have done it.

[jackmilliesmom]

Brave Men Jokes

What's the definition of the bravest man in the world??

The man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling
ofperfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're
next,fatty."

********************************




A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she
selected 2litres of low fat milk, a carton of eggs, 2 litres of orange
juice, ahead of lettuce, half a dozen tomatoes, a 500g jar of coffee
and a250g pack of bacon. As she was unloading her items on theconveyor
belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she
placedthe items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk
calmlystated," You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was
intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeedsingle.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothingparticularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off thedrunk to
her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know
what,you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly."

[CatsMeow]

A Spanish Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine:
'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine:
'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory
for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER !)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had
waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won

Har har har har ahahaha!