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Thread: Our PT joke thread

  1. #391
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
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    Colorado usa
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    Funny

    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef!

  2. #392
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
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    What happens if you see a robbery at an Apple store? You are an iWitness!
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #393
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    What happens if you see a robbery at an Apple store? You are an iWitness!
    Most likely it will. To be honest, I still don't get Apple's joke. Wild overpricing, there are devices not worse, but much cheaper.

  4. #394
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
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    Where does a stallion go when he needs to see the doctor? To the HORSEpital
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  5. #395
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,233
    ONe of my co-workers writes a "dad joke" on her white board almost every day. Here's a recent one ...

    How do you tell a good joke about pizza? It's all in the delivery. *groan*
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  6. #396
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    Good ones, Elyse.. Thank you!

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  7. #397
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    Illinois, USA
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    ONe of my co-workers writes a "dad joke" on her white board almost every day. Here's a recent one ...
    Here's another recent one: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where is pop corn?" *groan*
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  8. #398
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Suthern Murland
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    Frank Feldman

    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

    Passenger: “Who?”

    Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

    Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

    Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

    Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”

    Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

    Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”

    Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

    Passenger: “How did you meet him?”

    Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

  9. #399
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    Here's another recent one: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where is pop corn?" *groan*
    It's funny. I haven't heard this joke before. I need to remember.

  10. #400
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    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    ONe of my co-workers writes a "dad joke" on her white board almost every day.
    Here's another recent one. She's sharing Halloween jokes...

    Q: What's the most important subject for a witch to learn in school?
    A: Spelling.
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  11. #401
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    19,881
    Hee hee! Oh, that's funny... and quite clever, too!

    Thanks, Elyse, to your co-worker for the joke and to you for sharing it with us!

    Boo!

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  12. #402
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
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    From my co-worker's "dad joke" file... Do you know a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Strawberries.
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  13. #403
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Belgium, near Ghent
    Posts
    12,928
    I know a goodie, so I will try to translate it.....

    A woman buys a new wardrobe for the bedroom.
    She wants to surprise her husband, so she decides to assemble it all by herself
    But, every time the tram passes her house, the wardrobe falls apart.... .
    She keeps trying several times. All in tears, she rings the shop where she bought it.
    The shopkeeper feels so sorry for her and promises to come to her house in the afternoon.

    The man assembles the wardrobe, but again it falls apart the moment the tram passes.
    He says:"Ok, there mùst be something wrong, but I have nò idea what it might be.
    I suggest I get inside this thing, and when the tram passes, I hope to see what happens!"

    So the man does this, and closes the door.
    But then her husband gets home... .
    He wants to take a shower and takes an ironed shirt in the old wardrobe.
    Right this moment a tram passes, and the wardrobe falls apart again...!
    The man who was in it says "This is NOT what you think sir, I was only waiting for the next tram!!!"
    I miss you enormously Maya, Inka & Zazou Be happy there at the Rainbow Bridge

  14. #404
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    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
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    Oh, that's funny! Thanks, Lut!

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  15. #405
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
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    From my co-worker who writes "dad jokes" on her white board...
    Where do snowmen put their money? In snowbanks
    Praying for peace in Ukraine and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

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