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Thread: Our PT joke thread

  1. #391
    Join Date
    Apr 2021
    Location
    Colorado usa
    Posts
    42
    Blog Entries
    3

    Funny

    What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef!

  2. #392
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,049
    What happens if you see a robbery at an Apple store? You are an iWitness!
    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #393
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    What happens if you see a robbery at an Apple store? You are an iWitness!
    Most likely it will. To be honest, I still don't get Apple's joke. Wild overpricing, there are devices not worse, but much cheaper.

  4. #394
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,049
    Where does a stallion go when he needs to see the doctor? To the HORSEpital
    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  5. #395
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,049
    ONe of my co-workers writes a "dad joke" on her white board almost every day. Here's a recent one ...

    How do you tell a good joke about pizza? It's all in the delivery. *groan*
    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  6. #396
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    19,462
    Good ones, Elyse.. Thank you!

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  7. #397
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,049
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    ONe of my co-workers writes a "dad joke" on her white board almost every day. Here's a recent one ...
    Here's another recent one: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where is pop corn?" *groan*
    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  8. #398
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Suthern Murland
    Posts
    247

    Frank Feldman

    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

    Passenger: “Who?”

    Cabbie: “Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

    Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

    Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.”

    Passenger: “Sounds like he was really something special.”

    Cabbie: “There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.”

    Passenger: “Wow, what a guy!”

    Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

    Passenger: “How did you meet him?”

    Cabbie: “I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.”

  9. #399
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    Here's another recent one: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where is pop corn?" *groan*
    It's funny. I haven't heard this joke before. I need to remember.

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