Lawyers...(no offense Johanna)

[moosmom]

A rich lawyer parked his brand new Porsche, and just as he got out, a truck came along and tore off the driver's door. A police officer who witnessed the accident quickly pulled up, and began ranting about how he had just picked up the new Porsche and how it will never be the same.

when the man finally ran out of breath, the police officer said:

"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are. You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life.

"Like what?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you even realize your left arm got ripped off when the truck hit you?"

"OH MY GOD!!!! screamed the lawyer, "my Rolex!!!!"

[ramanth]

BWHAHAHAAHA!! I have to share that one here at work.

[Freedom]

HisssssSSSSSSSSsssssss!

[Alysser]

That was GREAT!

[JuniorxMyxLove]

hahaha funny.

[Marigold2]

How true how true

[wombat2u2004]

Hahahaha Moosmom....that was terrific.... I love it.
Wom

[jackmilliesmom]

Just copied it and sent it to my boss who is a lawyer (Solicitor here in Ireland) and he just cracked up thought it was sooooo funny

[wombat2u2004]

Here's one for ya...............

A builder dies and goes up to the pearly gates. St. Peter is there and checks out this builders record, and tells him that he has been very bad in life, and that he must go to hell.
When the builder arrives in hell, Satan is there, and tells him to jump into the fiery pit......not wanting to jump in, the builder thinks quick, and tells Satan that the sides of the pit are damaged and worn with bricks falling out etc etc, and that he being a builder, he would be able to fix them. Satan agrees, and the builder spends a couple of days on the pit walls, and gets them all neat and perfect. Satan thinks to himself "Geez....I can use this guy to repair other stuff around here".....so he gets him to repair the broken tiles on the path leading to the pit. As usual....the job is perfectly done. So the builder becomes quite famous in hell....he builds pergolas and jacuzzi's and adds a few more rooms to Satans residence......after a while Hell looks like a paradise.
God up in heaven is watching all of this and gets quite jealous, so he confronts Satan one day, and tells him that he wants the builder to come back to heaven, but there is no way Satan will give him back.
God gets quite angry and says..........."If you don't give me back the builder, I will take you to court."
To which the devil replies..." And where would you get a lawyer from ????"


Hehehehe....Wom

[Cataholic]

Please! I laugh at lawyer jokes just like I laugh at any other funny joke!

I change my laughter to a small, easy to miss, grin, though, when the people come to me seeking my advice.

[Miss Z]

Heehee, that was good!

[moosmom]

Johanna,

What??? No snicker??? Very wise, counselor.

Wom,

Um, maybe I'm slow, but I don't get it. Does that mean all lawyers are down THERE??? (If you know what I mean)

[wombat2u2004]

Johanna,

What??? No snicker??? Very wise, counselor.

Wom,

Um, maybe I'm slow, but I don't get it. Does that mean all lawyers are down THERE??? (If you know what I mean)

Yes....it means that God has no access to lawyers because they are all in hell....lol.
Wom

[Cataholic]

Johanna,

What??? No snicker??? Very wise, counselor.

Nah, a snicker might make them take their green elsewhere!