Dusty's 'time' has almost come *UPDATE post #39, she's gone*

[Catlady711]

My oldest cat Dusty is just shy of 17 years old, I've had her since 1995. She's had severe osteoarthritis for several years, getting worse each year. We've had her on Cosaquin for several years and added an omega 3 supplement last year. Early this year we gave her several Metacam injections which only worked for a short while, then switched her over to Tramadol. Neither pain med is approved for use in cats. It's a big struggle to get a pill in her but we've been hobbling by for a few months now.

About a month or so ago Dusty was diagnosed with a fast heart rate and congestive heart failure and has been retaining fluids in her abdomen. We've had her on a low dose of Lasix since then. Until a couple weeks ago things had been doing halfway decent despite the prognosis, now she seems to sleep alot, drink alot of water and pees like a racehorse. She is still eating but only small amounts more frequently and she's gotten picky about what she wants to eat, so I've been letting her have treats, the adult cat food, pretty much what ever cat food she wants.

Last night was awful. She was just laying there staring off into space, her breathing seemed fast, and she wasn't much interested in being brushed. I gave her the lasix injection and sat with her quite a while. I talked with her about letting me know when it was 'time' and cried over her for about 2 hours. She was having a bad night and I honestly figured that today would be her last day with me. I tried to get a pain pill in her and she threw it up.

This morning she seemed perkier, more interested in things around her, but still doing some fast breathing. I locked the other cats up and let Dusty have run of the house before her vet appt. She seemed to appreciate it and didn't sleep all day like she had been. Although I noticed a new area she'd licked raw since I went to bed last night. She's been an obsessive groomer for years, we figure it's boredome, but this latest raw patch is huge compared to the rest.

The vet said she was retaining fluid in more than just her abdomen now, and had a very fast heart rate, 140. He said we were giving her a low dose of the Lasix and could increase it and go more often to get rid of the fluids so she could breath easier. I asked him point blank if it was cruel of me to keep her alive just because she was still eating and if it was any kind of quality of life for her. He said in a couple days we'll know if this will do anything for her and if not then it is her 'time', if it does there are other things we could try (although like many things with Dusty, they aren't actually approved for use in cats). I've decided to take her to the campground this weekend which she LOVES to go there, and schedule an appt. next Thursday to have her PTS.

I spent most of the day crying on and off. I don't want her suffering but she's got just enough faculties left that she seems better than she is. The vet said she looked 'decievingly good', meaning she's hiding alot from me. Three of my coworkers seemed to think it was her 'time' already and my mom and hubby said they would have had her PTS a few months ago.

I've never had to actually make that decision myself before. All 3 of my guinea pigs died suddenly on their own, and I've never had any other pet long enough to experience old age like this. In 1997 Dusty got sick for 2 weeks and didn't eat the whole time and we had an appt for her to be PTS but I always held out hope she'd recover, and she did. I just have to keep reminding myself, this time she won't recover, there is no miracle this time and it's very hard.

Here's a pix I took of her last night





And here's the one from this morning



You can see a difference in her eyes. BTW the redish stuff around her eye is where she has overflowing tears and it stains her fur badly. If I had wiped it up before taking the pix it would look alot better than that.

Anyways, any opinions or suggestions as to knowing 'for sure' when it's 'time' short of very bad suffering? I'm so indecisive on this, although the vet thinks she has at least a few more days if the lasix works.


Dusty in 1995 a day before she became my house kitty.

[krazyaboutkatz]

I'm so sorry to hear that Dusty's time has almost come. I know that you're doing everything possible for her and you don't want to see her suffer. You'll know when her time has come. She'll let you know. My RB Pepper let me know by the look in his eyes and he was trying to tell me that he had enough.
I've only had to do this once and it's a very hard decision but I could never have an animal continue to live in pain or suffering just because I wanted to keep it alive. I hope that this makes sense. Just give her lots of loving and comfort with the time that you have left. I'm sure that she knows that you love her and are doing everything possible to make her days comfortable ones. May her passing be a smooth journey to the Rainbow Bridge. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Catty1]

I hope the increased med gives her some more comfort and helps her enjoy her camping trip a bit.

What a dear darling girl with slightly crumpled ear-tips!

I want my cats to live long lives, we all do - but then it leaves more of a hole.

HUGS to you and Dusty. Know we are all here for you.

[Rie Rie]

I can understand how you feel. My RB Sasha was 15 years old when I nocticed she just wasn't herself and took her in and the vet found all sorts of problems with her. The decision to have them PTS is the hardest thing to do, because you had her so long, she's like one of your children. I just knew in my heart that it was her time, so I took her home and loved her and let the kids spend some time with her then took her the next day to be PTS. I made the appt. at the end of the day so that my husband could go with me and we could go bury her out in the country where we plan to move. That was tough and I cried for days. A couple of weeks later, I saw a shadow out the corner of my eye coming into my room and it was her. I even felt her get on my pillow above my head one night, that is where she used to sleep. I still miss her a lot and that's been 6years ago, but she was like one of my kids.
I think you will know in your heart when it's time and she will be ready. Just keep doing what you're doing as far as letting her have what ever she wants and give her lots of love. God Bless you and Dusty.

[Randi]

Oh poor sweet Dusty - and you. I'm so sorry to hear her time has come, and I know how very hard it is. She knows you are doing everything possible to comfort her, and I hope she'll enjoy her day out at the campground. Be with her and cuddle her all you can, and let her have a gentle trip to the RB when the time comes.

My thoughts are with you. Take care!

((((hugs))))

[Freedom]

Hugs and prayers for you and for Dusty. One of the hardest things about our pets is that their live span is shorter than ours. You are already doing what you need to do, making informed decisions, keeping her welfare in mind, keeping her comfortable.

[kb2yjx]

It is never easy to make the decision to end a dear friend's life. But you wil know, Dusty will let you know. Hugs and prayers to you both...

[Anikaca77]

My prays are with you and Dusty. It's a hard decision to make but you will know when you will need to. My heart goes out to you two.

[rkidsrcats]

You will make the right decision at the right time because you love her and have always wanted and provided what was good for her.
I've always believed that the final responsibility I have as my cats' companion is to do this hard thing and help them go in comfort and dignity, knowing they were loved and will be missed.
Our thoughts are with you.

The Tribe

[Pawla]

You may not have to make the decision, as she may make it for you. I lost my sixteen year old in March. He had no health problems up until about three days prior. I had the "talk" with him also. Told him I loved him, that he'd been a good boy, and that he could go when he wanted. I just asked him to not make me have to make the decision. I took him to the vet the next morning, Wednesday, and he died on Monday. We were giving him fluids to try to help eliminate the nitrogen in his system, but he finally gave out. I learned eleven days later, when Menu Foods announced the recall, that the food I had been feeding him was recalled. It is so very hard to let them go. I know you don't want to watch her suffer. No one does. Whatever happens, just know that you both are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.{{{HUGS}}}

[Donnaj4962]

I am so sorry to hear that Dusty is not doing well. I can only imagine what you must be going through, but I know that you will make the right decision when the time is here.

Dusty is a gorgeous kitty, and has known love for the many years that you have been together. That is so important to keep in mind.

Many prayers for you and Dusty. I know that you will do what's right, when the time is right. You and Dusty will know. God bless you.

[Taz_Zoee]

I am so sorry to hear about Dusty. I have no advice for you as to knowing when the time is right. I have not had to make that decision in my adult life and do not look forward to it. So my heart goes out to you and I know what ever and when ever the time comes it will be the best thing for Dusty.

[Medusa]

This makes me so sad. You can see her feelings in her eyes, sweet girl. We say that we'll know when the time is right but sometimes we don't know because, as your vet said, they look 'deceivingly good'. Look at it this way: Dusty will spend her last days camping w/you, doing what she loves, in a place she loves w/the person she loves the most. How we wish that for all our furkids and for our humans, too. Trust your instincts and your vet. If you feel Dusty's quality of life is suffering, then you'll know what to do. And you also know that everyone here at PT is sending out lots of prayers for Dusty and you. Enjoy your time together in peace.

[Catlady711]

This morning was much better. Dusty's pain pills kicked in, the temp/humidity was lower, and her Lasix did it's job. When I went in her room she was up on the cat condo looking out the window. I haven't seen her up there in a long time. She jumped right down and meowed hello when I came in, and ate her breakfast with more enthusiasm than I've seen in a while, although she doesn't eat much, she eats frequently. You should see her crunchy food bowl. It's a mish-mesh of stuff, 3 kinds of treats and 3 kinds of cat food, whatever my baby wants.

I'm getting our stuff together to go to the campground tonight. Whatever Dusty wants we can do whether it's riding on the golf cart, taking a short walk around the site, or just sitting under the awning enjoying a peaceful evening.

I already set up the appointment for Thurs. July 5 at 4:20 to have her PTS. Even if she's doing better I've made the decision that I'd rather remember her last days with her feeling good, rather than wait until she has another night like Wed. night or worse. I'm already in tears just typing this. If I even think about her being gone, or hear a sad song I start crying and she's not even gone yet.

I've been taking alot of pix and video of her the last couple days.

A friend of mine has an album that has a song that not only brings me to tears, but is just so appropriate. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. He is an irish folk song singer, and his music is very traditional celtic folk music. She picked up his album when he was a street singer in Florida a few years ago.


I have to listen to it to type out the lyrics, so I'm gonna be crying through this whole thing, hope I don't drown your computers.

Album: Raised On Songs And Stories
Song: DON'T CRY FOR ME
Artist: IAN MILLER

Just take me out to the sea
Let me go with the breeze I'm free
I'll sail in the Heavens
hand in hand with my love

And you will know in your heart
Where I'll be It's all a part of life
So don't cry for me

Watch me sail off through the clouds
Feel my heart, hear it sing out loud
Watch me dance, I can dance on the silver linings

Watch me fly and hear me sing
All the peace, the joy, the love will bring
It's my time, so don't cry for me

Don't look behind
I'll be sailing around the universe
And the stars they'll be watching over you

And I know that you'll be fine
You and yours can have peace of mind
It's my time, so don't cry for me

I've lived a life that's full
The ups and downs
And still somehow my heart wants to sing out every morning

So now my days are done
I'll just sail out into the sun
It's my time Don't cry for me

Don't look behind
I'll be sailing around the universe
And the stars they'll be watching over you

And I know You'll be fine
You and yours can have peace of mind
It's my time, so don't cry for me

[Medusa]

I'm sure you've made the right decision. I probably would do the same thing, all things considered. As for the song, ya gotta love the Irish. They can really tear at your heartstrings. My ex-boyfriend is Irish and he knew how to do it, believe me. But the lyrics are beautiful and the sentiment is, too.