16 year old student marries 40 year old

[mike001]

Is it true love or infatuation? IMO a 16 yr old , no matter how mature doesn't really know the meaning of love. You have to experience life itself before making such decisions. while I was in school we had the most handsome English teacher, every girl had a crush on him....wasn't love, it was infatuation.
I think her parents are to blame if they didn't see it coming, sounds like they didn't use great measures to prevent this.

James grow up, you sound like a 2 yr old.

[wombat2u2004]

Is it true love or infatuation? IMO a 16 yr old , no matter how mature doesn't really know the meaning of love. You have to experience life itself before making such decisions. while I was in school we had the most handsome English teacher, every girl had a crush on him....wasn't love, it was infatuation.
I think her parents are to blame if they didn't see it coming, sounds like they didn't use great measures to prevent this.

James grow up, you sound like a 2 yr old.

No....I think a 16 year old girl is quite capable of falling in love.
My mother is living proof of that.....she herself admits that it was true love when she met my dad, and has always been so. Do your maths....I was born when my mum was 16, she went on to have another 5 children, they were married for 54 years, and when dad died she was so very inconsolable for a long time. She still misses him.
Wom

[sparks19]

No....I think a 16 year old girl is quite capable of falling in love.
My mother is living proof of that.....she herself admits that it was true love when she met my dad, and has always been so. Do your maths....I was born when my mum was 16, she went on to have another 5 children, they were married for 54 years, and when dad died she was so very inconsolable for a long time. She still misses him.
Wom

I was just going to tell a similar story. I know a lady who is a dear friend and she started dating her husband when she was 14..... he just passed away two years ago after a heart attack and she was devestated. They were very much in love from the day they met till the day he passed away.

[Giselle]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

[Crazy-Cat-Lover]

I have been happily married to my husband for almost a year. I am 22, he's 41. I was 21 when I married him and made the decision based on love. He might be a lot older than me, but he is a great husband and a wonderful father. Most people are shocked when they find out the age difference, but they can see that we DO love each other dearly.

[Argranade]

Love realy does not have any boundries lol (sp?).

Sorry but I find that kinda gross lol.

[theterrierman]

Although I don't find it particularly pleasant, the thing is, it's their choice whether they want to get married. It's legal. Hell, if they're in love, it's alot more acceptable to me than some gold-digger marrying some man/woman on their deathbed to inherit their estate. And, the girl is physically and sexually mature, so it's not pedophilia in any way. What bothers me, is how the relationship was initiated. I sure as heck hope this guy was conducting himself properly at school.

[Karen]

I have known 16-year-olds that were more mature than some 25-year-olds I knew, and vice versa. I do wonder though, if, in ten year's time, he'll dump her when she's an adult woman and find another gullible teen to pursue, but only time will tell, and doubtless the media will not care.

[mike001]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

Congratulations Giselle, you appear to be very well in touch with reality. This was by far the most mature response on the subject.

[wombat2u2004]

Congratulations Giselle, you appear to be very well in touch with reality. This was by far the most mature response on the subject.

LOL....thats only because Giselle agrees with your point of view !!!!! And that statement is only YOUR opinion. And REALITY ???? I think not.
We have seen on this thread, so many examples on each side of the argument, some successful, others unsuccessful. So hey....what is the true message here ????? As Crow Noir pointed out quite correctly along the lines of "We are all human, we all react differently, we all have different needs, we all mature differently, and that,s what makes us all unique as individuals".
The fact is, we are ALL VERY different, and the sooner we stop putting our own expectations on others the better.
I say good luck to this couple, and I sincerely hope that it all works out for them.
Wom

[mugsy]

This is the first time I've read this thread and a little surprised this is "THE" thread.

As a teacher, I think the man made a poor choice, but, if they are in love, they are in love. Like LH said, it depends on the state. If in NC the legal age of consent is 16, then they did nothing wrong. Teachers, however, for one reason or another, are held to a higher standard when it comes to this stuff. I'm too old now and too fat for kids to have a crush on me, but, I know there are kids that have crushes on their teachers. Sometimes it's just that, and other times, AFTER the student gets out of school they date and marry. I had one of my student teachers fall in love with and marry one of his students (that was when he was student teaching in high school). They had a couple of kids, unfortunately, they are divorcing, but, I seriously doubt it has anything to do with him being her teacher 12 years ago.

I also agree with Liz that the parents obviously were oblivious to their daughter's goings on and when they figured it out, it was "too late".

Honestly, when it comes right down to it, it's no one's business but theirs. Just a thought or 2 from an oldster teacher.

[mike001]

LOL....thats only because Giselle agrees with your point of view !!!!! And that statement is only YOUR opinion. And REALITY ???? I think not.
We have seen on this thread, so many examples on each side of the argument, some successful, others unsuccessful. So hey....what is the true message here ????? As Crow Noir pointed out quite correctly along the lines of "We are all human, we all react differently, we all have different needs, we all mature differently, and that,s what makes us all unique as individuals".
The fact is, we are ALL VERY different, and the sooner we stop putting our own expectations on others the better.
I say good luck to this couple, and I sincerely hope that it all works out for them.
Wom

No, not at all. It's because Giselle and Animal-lover sound like two very mature teens themselves and what better opinion than from someone in that age bracket. I would be proud to have the two of them as daughters with that kind of level headed thinking. Any mother letting a 14 yr old start dating a man old enough to be her father sounds a bit off the wall to me. At 14 a girl is still a child and at 16 her body might look adult but is very far from it, she still has a lot of developing to do, bodywise and brainwise.
I never said they did anything wrong, I just said that in today's world, teens have a hard enough time coping with their education and the world around them without looking for more problems by getting married and bringing children into the world. Sounds too much like a soap opera to me.
Again I repeat my congratulations to Giselle and Animal Lover for their maturity.

[animal_rescue]

I'm going to assume that most of you are well over the age of 20, at least. As an almost 16-year-old, I can tell you that, no, many of my peers are not mature enough to handle marriage, and, no, most of them can't differentiate between true love and infatuation. Yes, age is just a number and love has no physical limitations or boundaries. However, this GIRL is just 16. In this modern world where a large number of teens leave home at age 18 not to start their careers but to continue their education, I firmly feel 16 is not the age to begin a marriage to somebody 24 years older. I don't see why she wanted to rush this. Why not continue dating and wait a few years (i.e. when she enters college??).

And, I have to disagree. There is a lot of mental and physical development that takes place between 16 and 18. There've been a good deal of studies regarding young teens and their ability/mental maturity to drive a car. At 16, it's undeniable that our brains are still in a fast rate of growth and development. Maybe I should stick my head out from my books, but that's my belief.

I definitely have to agree with you! I'm almost 18 years old and I know plenty of peers who think they are in love but are far from it. One example is a boyfriend from when I was 15. He told me he loved me when we had only been dating for about 3 weeks. My answer was "Uhh thanks" When he asked why I didn't say it back, I simply replied I didn't know him well enough to love him. Sure I loved him as a friend but I don't believe true loves comes along until you really have been with that person and known them. Needless to say I dumped him a couple of weeks later, way too immature for me. Happily have been single since. Anyways not trying to make this about me, but hopefully some people will understand seeing it come from us Youngins. I just don't think she is mentally stable enough to be married, in my sociology class we learned the difference between adults and teens and even about how love occurs.

[Lady's Human]

It really depends completely on the individuals involved. I've seen marriages between relatively young people work, and marriages between "mature" (chronologically only) people fail.

Being in the military, you meet people from all areas of the US, who come from all types of backgrounds. In some areas a 16 y/o getting married wouldn't be unusual at all. (This created some interesting issues for the Army when someone from a state where the legal age for marriage was 16 moved with their spouse to a state where the legal age was 18. In some instances the Army had a hell of a time fighting legal issues involving statutory rape, transport of a minor across state lines, etc.)

[crow_noir]

I also say a 16 year old is capable of being in true love. I'm not saying all will or can be at that age, but it's not impossible either. On the opposite end I've also known of adults who never did and only knew infatuation. Everyone is an individual. Our brains all mature and get different emotions at different rates. That's what makes us all so unique.

Is it true love or infatuation? IMO a 16 yr old , no matter how mature doesn't really know the meaning of love. You have to experience life itself before making such decisions. while I was in school we had the most handsome English teacher, every girl had a crush on him....wasn't love, it was infatuation...