Hubby refuses to take his meds -- help!

[catnapper]

Bear with me, this is long. Please read it all. I am in tears writing this. I seriously need help here.

I'm at my wit's end. Hubby has high blood pressure. A year ago, he was told he's a walking heart attack waiting to happen. A few months ago, he went for a recheck and his blood pressure was awesome. That apparently meant he could stop the meds.... at least thats what HE thought.

When he's off his meds, he's quick to explode. He says its because he's finally saying something about things that have always bothered him. I say that if he took his meds, these things wouldn't bother him. We're talking about serious bothersome things like the ice in his drink melted. or someone took the tv remote (it was under his butt )

I tried logic, telling him that he's playing with his health. He retorts that his BP is only high because I'm nagging him about the pill -- trust me, I hate nagging and I wouldn't do so unless I noticed that he NEEDS the pill.

Ok, so he doesn't want me to nag? I begged him to go to the doctor for a BP recheck, and I'll shut up if the doctor says his BP is perfect. He KNOWS his weight is directly tied to high blood pressure... and he's recently gained all the weight he had lost 6 months ago, right before the last recheck. He refuses to go for a recheck, and I told him its because he knows the doctor will lecture him and tell him his weight is up, and so is his BP.

I've tried the guilt trip. I told him I need him. The kids need him. Cam needs him. Does he want Cam to only remember his grandpa from photos in 10 years?

Tonight I actually snuck in a little sarcasm... I was holding Pouncer after I gave him his meds. I said, "Pouncie's a good boy. You take your medicine like you're supposed to!" Pouncer groweld at me and hubby shot darts from his eyes

Let's just say life hasn't been too much fun with him the past few weeks. I can totally tell when his BP is high because his face becomes beet red and then its like a bomb exploded. We all duck for cover. He's VERY lucky I know its his BP and not him. VERY lucky.

Help?

[Karen]

Get a BP kit at the drugstore - they aren't very expensive, and it'll be easier than getting him to a doctor. Then Google "high blood pressure" and pint out all the ways it can not only kill you, but damage you physically to make the rest of your life miserable. Stroke, heart damage, organ damage - all are not NOT fun. You can also check your own blood pressure, and everyone's just for fun, and keep a chart.

[catnapper]

I hadn't thought of the BP kit. Printing things out will NOT work. I've done that in the past and all it does is get us into a huge fight because I somehow insulted him.

And for the record, my BP is absolutely perfect -- went ot the doctor a few weeks ago.

[Catty1]

This might sound strange....Apologize for nagging. Qualify that by saying that he IS an adult, and he knows best about his health, and what to do.

Then DROP it. Totally.

Based on some stuff I have read - men really feel disrespected when treated like little boys who don't know what is good for them (I know I know ).

So trust him to be a grownup who knows what is best, and let him know that.

ANY nagging or sarcasm just puts his back up - and he forgets about being healthy - because he'd rather be right and defend himself than be healthy!

Reduce his options.

[Edwina's Secretary]

I bought a blood pressure machine for my father....from Walgreen. It is idiot-proof. You stick your arm in it and press a button. It even does stuff like record the last I-don't-know-how-many readings so you can track what is happening. It tracks his pulse and I don't know what all else.

He loves it. I think the electronics of it make it even more fun....

[Marigold2]

Tell him you are taking out a big life insurance policy on his name. Since he won't take his meds, you might as well be a rich widow. That ought to scare him enough to hopefully take his meds.

[ramanth]

I have to concur with Catty. My dad has a history of high BP, but my mom doesn't. She went out and bought one of those machines and just started using it daily just because. Dad's curiousity got the best of him and now they check each other's BP daily, compare notes, and dad's been visiting the doc regularly and taking his meds.

[Glacier]

Tell him you are taking out a big life insurance policy on his name.

That's pretty much what I do when Stuart is about to do something stoopid except I already have the policy! I just asked if he's paid the premiums!

[Laura's Babies]

A year ago, he was told he's a walking heart attack waiting to happen.

I will sound like a broken record here.. That sentence set off alarm bells for me.. I am betting he is on a statin drug too (Lipitor, Crestor ect). That is what they tell us to get us to take that stuff.. Statin drugs causes personality changes in some people, it is one of the lesser known side effects. I strongly urge you, if he is one one of them to go here and just start reading. Pick any... they all do the same thing... http://www.spacedoc.net/board/index....9c75793f4a09cc

I am STILL suffering from the physical side effect of the drug that I thought was good for me and I have been off of it for almost a year (quit it July 2006) and it is still doing damage to my body.

I read a story about a man (I am not sure if it was on this sight or somewhere else) that a wife posted. Her husband, a normally wonderful, sweet man had turned into a monster.. I wish I had saved that story, it was a real scarey story.

One comment from this web sight I gave you the link for, "My partner suffered confusion, depression, etc on statins (he took Lipitor for EIGHT YEARS......... plus mood swings, heinous temper outbursts , v. short fuse, sexual difficulties......".... This is not that uncommon...

[Lobodeb]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Kim and I wish I could help.

My hubby gets cases of the stupids every know and then too, except with us, it's his epilepsy meds that he thinks we can't afford even though we can. His last episode happened on mother's day. When I went to pick him up from the ER (as I will no longer go with him and "support" him), the ER had this terrible feeling around it. My hubby told me that a family just lost their little 3 year old baby. ON MOTHER'S DAY!!! I could hear that poor woman sobbing asking God why he would take her baby. I looked over to where I heard the crying coming from. As I did, someone opened the curtain and I saw a tiny, lifeless little body on the bed. I still can't get that poor lady out of my head. I still cry and pray for her.

When we got home, I think I hugged Hugito so hard that he farted. I was so angry at my husband for exposing me to that. No mother should ever lose her baby on Mother's day. As a matter of fact, no parent should ever out live their child, period!

Sorry for the vent. I just wanted to let you know that we're in the same boat. If you do get through to your husband, please let me know.

[AdoreMyDogs]

I'm sorry you're going through this, Kim and I wish I could help.

My hubby gets cases of the stupids every know and then too, except with us, it's his epilepsy meds that he thinks we can't afford even though we can. His last episode happened on mother's day. When I went to pick him up from the ER (as I will no longer go with him and "support" him), the ER had this terrible feeling around it. My hubby told me that a family just lost their little 3 year old baby. ON MOTHER'S DAY!!! I could hear that poor woman sobbing asking God why he would take her baby. I looked over to where I heard the crying coming from. As I did, someone opened the curtain and I saw a tiny, lifeless little body on the bed. I still can't get that poor lady out of my head. I still cry and pray for her.

When we got home, I think I hugged Hugito so hard that he farted. I was so angry at my husband for exposing me to that. No mother should ever lose her baby on Mother's day. As a matter of fact, no parent should ever out live their child, period!

Sorry for the vent. I just wanted to let you know that we're in the same boat. If you do get through to your husband, please let me know.

I'm so sorry your hubby is being so difficult. I hope, somehow, something clicks in his brain and he begins to see the importance of his meds and puts an end to all your stresses ((((((Hugs)))))

And OMG, Debby! I cried when I read about what you experienced. I can't even stand to think about it or visualize it...it hurts That poor, poor woman.

[Catty1]

A friend of mine took herself off Lipitor - with her Dr's knowledge but not permission.

She had researched it and very awful things can happen, especially if one takes it long term. Of course, you are not told that when you get the scrip!

There is a product I am trying to research as my friend tries to research other stuff. I have seen an ad on US tv for Garlic-ex or something. Supposedly it works well for some people - the ad refers to this patient and his doctor both liking it.

I'll try Googling it again, but I can't recall the name.

Kim - maybe he'd check something natural with his doc?

Prayers headed your way!

[Pawsitive Thinking]

1. Get him a monitor so he can check his BP for himself

2. Remind him that high blood pressure isn't called the silent killer for nothing

3. Any one who has hypertension (if that makes it sound better to him) has to face being on medication for life - I do and I am!

4. Kick his selfish, stupid butt and tell him to stop being such a big baby

[Catty1]

I like the idea of getting the blood pressure kit and using it yourself as a "toy" - try it on Ashley too!

He'll get curious enough...

Denise, the thing is this man has been told all the stuff about health and etc and leaving little Cam without a grandad, etc. It doesn't seem to have worked.

I think if he's left to make his own decision, he will. But it's like an alkie - he may have to hit his own bottom before he does that. If he does have to learn the hard way, I hope it is the gentlest one possible.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Denise, the thing is this man has been told all the stuff about health and etc and leaving little Cam without a grandad, etc. It doesn't seem to have worked.

I think if he's left to make his own decision, he will.

Let's hope he comes to his senses before it is too late

In the meantime don't mention the subject to him again - ultimately it is his choice I guess