I need some advice, points of view, opinions etc.....

My husband and I have been trying for a baby for 18 months and have recently found out that there are significant problems with both of us that means we are unable to concieve naturally. We have been told that we can go through a form of IVF treatment calls ICSI - this has the same "basics" as IVF, but actually injects the sperm into the egg...which supposedly provides a higher success rate for people like my husband and I.

To be honest, at first I didn't really understand the processes of IVF or ICSI, so decided to do a bit of research....now I kinda wish I hadn't in some ways. The process is so complicated and being a woman..quite invasive as well. My husband is very supportive and has said that ultimately the decision is mine, as it is me that has to go through all the different treatments...but I don't see it that way. I see it as a decision for both of us, but how do we make that decision? Is it my decision? He has said that he will support me in whatever "I" decide, but at the same time also says that he will find it difficult to watch me go through the process. I tried talking to my Mum about it, and she too can't see past what I have to go through.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want people to make the decision for me, I just want advice...but no-one seems to be able to give that to me because they are too close to me. I know they are only thinking about me and I can totally see it from their point of view, it is a lot to go through. But all I keep thinking is that if I don't go through with it am I always going to say "what if"?

I have also been told that I have a very low chance of carrying full term - approximately 20%. So again, they are focussing on the 80% chance of losing the baby or the baby being extremely premature. So on the other side of the coin...if I do go through with it and then something happens to the baby am I going to cope with the heartache after wanting something for so long?

I'm in turmoil over this, I have gone right off food, I haven't had a decent sleep in weeks and keep thinking to myself that if I forget about it for a while..will the decision be easier. But it's not. It won't go away. I think about it every day.

I went to see my GP today and he hadn't even heard of ICSI, so wasn't much use - he suggested waiting until our initial appointment with the IVF clinic. I even asked if there were any support groups or maybe a counsellor that I could see to talk things over with..someone who doesn't know "me", but he couldn't help me there either.

I just don't know where to turn or what to do....