There's a CEO type I have called a couple of times from work, and his cell says: "You've almost reached (name). Please leave a message etc etc etc"

I liked the first part - particularly since he is kinda highly placed and I don't expect that humour.

Another one: "This is (name). I DO want to talk to you, so leave your etc etc"

The latter one especially is delivered in a gravelly serious business voice.

Mine? "Hello. This is (number)." I can't recall the rest. I'll change it soon. LOL