Don't Shake Your Baby

[finn's mom]

The title should be an obvious bit of knowledge, but the fact is that it happens. My friend, Susan, just posted this blog on her myspace account. I wanted to share it here as a reminder. If this needs to be moved to the dog house, that's all right. I didn't think it was all that controversial, though it may be considered dog house material.

"I went to a funeral yesterday for a precious 6-week old baby named Tye. Beautiful baby, and perfectly healthy.

His father shook him to death.

No, he didn't intend to kill him. He probably just wanted him to stop crying, but he shook him and now this beautiful child is dead, and the family is left to pick up the pieces.

His mother (with whom I've been friends with since we were kids) and her family are facing unimaginable emotional turmoil, while her husband sits in a jail cell, facing capital murder charges. I guess he deserves it, but I'm grieving for him, as well.

Mya, the baby's twin sister, will never know her brother. This entire thing has been such a tragedy.

People, DON'T shake your babies! Don't jossle them, or toss them around. Be careful with their fragile little bodies. If they won't stop crying and you need a break, put them in their crib and WALK AWAY. If they're crying, you at least know they're breathing, right? Tye isn't breathing anymore...

www.dontshake.com - Check out this site for more information.

Please pray for my friend and her family, who are devastated at this time, and do your part to prevent Shaken Baby Syndrome (yes, this is a medical term.)

Tell ANYONE that you know who cares for a little one, to not shake them. Don't worry about offending them. If they know the dangers of shaking a baby, they will understand your concern, and if they don't understand the fragility of an infant's brain and spinal column, you can educate them.

I had to post this. I wish I could do more. I want to shout this warning through the maternity wards of every hospital in the world.

Thanks for reading."

[Sirrahsim]

That is a very important message. One thing that I just learned at my second set of childbirth classes was that it only takes *2* seconds. A single moment of uncontrolled anger can be deadly. 6 bumps of the brain inside the skull in as little as a 2 second period is all it takes to ruin a child's life as well as your own.
If you feel like you are losing control, GET HELP!! It is out there!

[mike001]

That's the saddest thing I've ever read. I wish the father would have just gone out for a walk to relax instead. A six mo. old baby does cry....been there, we all feel like it's going to break us at times, but it really doesn't help as the story you told proves.

[Karen]

It is always tragic, there was a famous case of Shaken Baby syndrome involving a nanny here that made national news. It is sad that some people don't know how dangerous that impulsive act can be.

[NicoleLJ]

Before I had my first child i took parenting classes and one of the points they pushed was it is better for the baby to cry in a crib for a few minutes to even half an hour for you to catch your breath then for you to lose your cool and shake the baby. It was a huge point and I have always made sure to listen. So with both my kids when they would have a crying marathon and I would feel like I was getting to my breaking point I would put them in their room, safely in their crib and walk away to catch my breath. Sometimes I would sit and read to calm my racing thoughts or have a quick shower, even some cooking or cleaning helped to calm frazzled nerves. And by teh end of 10-20 minutes I could go get teh baby(whom I could hear though a monitor so always knew they were safe) refreshed. And even if they were still crying I knew i was better able ot then deal with it. Knowing that I could do this was a relief for me since I always knew I had a safe recourse when things got bad.
Nicole

[lizbud]

It's absolutely unbelievable that anyone would have to be told this.

[critter crazy]

It's absolutely unbelievable that anyone would have to be told this.

Exactly!!!!

[GreyhoundGirl]

It's absolutely unbelievable that anyone would have to be told this.

You have to learn at some point! Sheesh! I didn't know! guess that makes me an ideot, right?

[cyber-sibes]

This is heartbreaking. I will keep your friend & her whole family in my prayers. Ugh, they probably feel like they are living in a nightmare. Very very important message, babies are so fragile. I'm truly sorry your friends are going through this.

[lizbud]

You have to learn at some point! Sheesh! I didn't know! guess that makes me an ideot, right?

Nobody said that. I grew up in a big family & there was always a baby
in the family at some time or other. It just seems like good sense to me
to handle a baby with great care. I don't ever remember my mom saying
that, but it just seems natural to me.

[Uabassoon]

It's absolutely unbelievable that anyone would have to be told this.

This was something I didn't know until recently. There was a billboard with a PSA about shaking babies. I had to ask Alexa why you couldn't shake a baby. I've never been around children and know nothing about them. Some people have never been around babies and don't know these things. Everyone needs to learn somewhere.

It just seems like good sense to me
to handle a baby with great care.

While that does seem like good sense. Some people don't understand how severe it is. I figured from seeing the billboard that it wasn't good to shake a baby, but I had no clue it was something that could cause death.

[lizbud]

While that does seem like good sense. Some people don't understand how severe it is. I figured from seeing the billboard that it wasn't good to shake a baby, but I had no clue it was something that could cause death.

I do understand how someone might not understand the severe physical
harm you could do to a baby by shaking it, but why would people think it
ok to discipline an infant in any way, shape or form? I guess that idea is
unbelievable to me.

[Sirrahsim]

I can understand how people who have not had a lot of contact with babies might not understand that shaking can be fatal....
What gets me is HOW COULD ANYONE DO IT to their own child?? There is a certain amount of knowledge that I swear is implanted in your brain when you have a baby. When a baby is put into your arms you KNOW that your goal in life is to protect that baby in every way possible. When I had Tyler it took me several days before I was comfortable enough to GENTLY bounce him in my arms with his head fully supported... An infant is completely relient on you in EVERY way, how could ANYONE betray that trust???


Obviously I feel very strongly about this topic...

[Karen]

I can understand how people who have not had a lot of contact with babies might not understand that shaking can be fatal....
What gets me is HOW COULD ANYONE DO IT to their own child?? There is a certain amount of knowledge that I swear is implanted in your brain when you have a baby.

Sadly, that doesn't happen with everyone. So people - other people - need to just educate, educate, educate!

[cyber-sibes]

Sadly, that doesn't happen with everyone. So people - other people - need to just educate, educate, educate!

Well said. "Motherhood" does not come naturally to everyone. You would be amazed how many young women are completely overwhelmed having a baby around 24-7. The sleep depravation that comes with a newborn, changing hormones, post-partum depression, pre-existing conditions, stress, and lack of experience can put a person into a very different stage of mind, when something that is utterly irrational can seem like the thing to do in the moment. As for dads, well, they don't all have the patience of Job. Very few have any experience with babies, and, at least in my generation, many of them were handled pretty roughly by their own dads. It would be wonderful is parenting classes were be a requirement for anyone raising children.

*edit - times have changed, and a lot of young moms don't have their moms or family living nearby who can help with young babies. The family support system isn't there anymore for many young families.