How to get over grief?

[Sevaede]

I still experience so much grief for my RB kitty Tier. He passed away on June 23rd, '05, due to spinal, nerve, etc, complications.

I mourn for him every day. I bawl every time I think about him. I am still devastated without my kitty companion. It didn't even really hit me until a few days ago that he is gone. I will never play fetch with him, he won't open any doors, he won't drink out of the toilet (endearing, in retrospect ), he won't try to eat ranch dressing, he won't be here to eat lettuce, etccccc...

Grief. Neverending, eh?

[dukedogsmom]

Unfortunately, I can't help you there. I'm going through that right now. They say time heals all wounds. I surely hope it's true. Have you thought of saving another kitty? Not as a replacement but to help heal the huge empty space?

[cyber-sibes]

(((hugs to both of you) I don't have any answers because we all grieve differently, but I can share my experience with you.

I was where you're at last year. I had to put down my 17 yr. old kitty, ChowChow. I do miss him deeply., I had him since he was a little kitty. but in his case, he was old and in very poor health, and it broke my heart to watch him dwindle from a big healthy 17 lb. boy to 7 1/2 lbs. of skin & bones. I must say, while I mss him, I feel serene about it. I know it was time.
On the other hand, I lost my RB girl, Rosie, over 3 years ago and I still miss her every day. She was hit by a car and died within minutes. She was only 3, and she was my heart-dog. I always saw us growing old together. I thought she would still be under my feet as I sat in my rocking chair - she loved that! I got very very depressed. Star did , too. And it was mostly because it was painful to see Star be so sad, that we decided to go ahead and get another dog. i didn't hurry, and finally found the right dog, Sherman. He has helped our hearts heal tremendously. I can't imagine life without him now, he's so special to us.

I keep one of Rosie's pictures by my bed so I wake up to her smiling face everyday, and say goodnight every night. I keep Rosie's ashes & collar on a cupboard in the hall, I often stop & talk to her. We put some of her ashes under a tree I can always see, and that is also very comforting. i can always go out & touch the Rosie tree.

I know you will both find some special things that will help you cope. the pain never goes away, just lessens with time- they are part of us furever!

[caseysmom]

I still grieve over my rb gigi, the wound is not open and stinging, its more of a scar that I run my hand over ever now and then.

My daughter still dreams about her a lot and misses her too. I am sorry you are going through this. I think the new kitty idea is a great one.

[slick]

I believe grieving for an animal is the same as grieving for a hooman. The pain is real, the loss is real.

I sent my cat Speckles to the RB in December of 2005 and there isn't a day that I don't think about her. The vet came to my home to sent her on her way and I'm so glad I did that. For a couple of days before, her eyes were telling me that she was ready to go and when the time came, her passing was so peaceful as she lay there in my arms.

Now, I only have Max who is 13. When he finally makes the trip, it will do me in. For some time, I expect to be silent but I will bouce back and adopt two more kitties from a shelter.

Big hugs to you. I wish I could take the pain away but I can't. All I can do is to encourage you to remember Tier as an active healthy kitty....and that she is now at the Rainbow Bridge. She is saving a spot for you and you will meet again.

[K9karen]

Oh My. Honestly, the pain never ever goes away. My heart knows RB Cody is gone (same with my wonderful parents), but my heart still aches every single day. Some days I cry uncontrollably some days I deal with it. But it is an open wound.
I believe that getting another dog or cat is a wonderful thing. You will know when you're ready. I think of it as not "replacing" the pet you lost, but giving love to an animal who needs you. To me, it's a different personality, so it's a new adventure. But I do call Logan "Cody", and have all their pictures around the house. Gone but never ever forgotten.