Hubby makes me mad( good update first op )

[ashleycat]

Hubby doesn't want me to have Runner AND the bunny. hubby keeps saying he's going to take her to the pound(the bunny). I keep telling him.. NO you're not. I'm keeping her. !!!

He says.. but you promised you would get rid of her when you got the dog.

I said... no.. YOU said I could have BOTH.

He said.. I didn't say that. I said.. yes you did.

I told him. I love her, and I want to keep her. AND the dog.

Does he have any right to make me give up my animals? If I'M the one taking care of them. I mean... sure.. I don't bring the money home. But I take care of our daughter and the house and MY animals. Yes MY animals. He is not an animal person as you can tell. grrr

So I WILL be getting her fixed soon. But I think I will sneak the money out of our bank so he won't see the bill on our statement

Shop around for the cheapest stuff. I already know that american pet diner has GREAT hay 10 pounds for cheap that lasts a LONG time and STAYs fresh. I need to find my tractor supply for litter. I've been using carefresh or yesturdays news. And move her to a different location of the house. Maybe my craft room or something. I'm always in there.

Right now she's in the kitchen. But I think he's getting annoyed with her in there.

I'm trying the best I can to keep her.

What do YOU do when your spouse does this? Tries to make you give up your loved pet?

So you see. I'm becoming stronger. Standing up to him. Not letting him control me anymore.

---------------------------update
We just talked after him reading my letter.
he's letting me keep her because I explained how cheap it is to have her, and I have to move her out of the kitchen. Because he wants to get a dining room set.

He's letting me get the tat too, because I explained that they are small and next to my other one. He thought I was going to get something drastic.

He only doesnt want me wearing camis in public functions.

So we are better for now. We have counseling tomorrow

[chocolatepuppy]

What do YOU do when your spouse does this? Tries to make you give up your loved pet?

I would get rid of husband, sorry, that's just my opinion.

[Cataholic]

ONLY, ONLY, ONLY cause you posted it in the form of a question: ANYone that "tells" me what I have to do is not someone worthy of my love, respect, commitment, etc. I know someon will say, "Oh, that is cause you aren't married...compromise, submission, blah, blah"....but, no WAY does someone "tell" me what I, an adult, does or doesn't do.

I would take the husband to the pound. To think you are actually concerned that he would take her to the pound, while he knows you care for her, is rather sick, IMO.

[Dorothy39]

Well, what's good for the "bunny" is good for the "honey"

[Lori Jordan]

I think that it has to do with ignorance! My friends husband did this god almost 10 years ago,She had a beautiful Cocker Spaniel(8 at the time)They had a terrible Marriage,Anyways she gave the dog to her sister(he insisted)He was just mad i think because the dog got more attention then he did,Well off goes Blondie,She lived only a month and a half after that.Ya know what he did he went out and got an Old English Sheep dog,There beautiful dogs,But......She had to get rid of her blondie For him to go get a dog that he has always wanted was it fair?No Blondie passed away and i truly believe that an older dog should not be rehomed any dog in that case,Runner is a beautiful girl i think it is time you get rid of him!That is like saying ok i don't want my kid anymore,He has a choice,simple like it or leave,My husband would never do that to me and if he did after all the years we have been together,He would be on the first train,bus outta here!Good Luck to you!

[JenBKR]

I am glad that you are standing up for yourself. Does he often try to control you? In what ways? Does it seem like he might have control issues?

[ashleycat]

I am glad that you are standing up for yourself. Does he often try to control you? In what ways? Does it seem like he might have control issues?

He tries to tell me what I can and can't do.But I'm also in counseling and learning boundries and becoming stronger and my own person.

He doesn't raise his voice or anything violent. I'm just very submissive. It's what I learned growing up. Watching my mom put up with it from my step dad 14 years till she left. He was an alcoholic.

SO,, what do you do when in marriage.. Comprimise. He wants the bunny gone. What I do? Keep her, but find better ways to manage. INstead of moving her to the other room, she needs to be out in open for more socialization. So I'm moving the dining table back to the other room, and putting her stuff in place.

I can't tell him what he can and can't spend money on, so why should he tell me? Just because I don't bring home the bread, doesn't mean I'm not working either. !~

[G535]

Well, what's good for the "bunny" is good for the "honey"

Thank you for my first laugh for a long time and I agree completely!

[Corinna]

I agree it'sthe one you pick. We dated for 3 years efore marrying. He knew what he was getting into. But he had only ever had 2 cats growing up, so geuss who has brought the series of large dogs home. right now the 2 newfs are his doing. He bought me the first angora rabbit(sure he didn't forsee 25 of them ad 25 meat rabbits(not that I bred them but I became the drop off for those cute easter bunnies that require work) He would find them n boxes on the front porch in the mornings. He never once comlaied about the feed costs. of bunnies on the dinner table as we ate. as i homeschooled or kids kept house and started a spining business . Even now after almost 28 years he doesn't say anything. In fact he just asked today if I wanted to have aother buny for my spinig demos.(after having to have my 14 year old bun pts from cancer) not sure i want ny more buns for a while he was the last of the herd . he newfs supply enough wool for now. Whith kids grown and new grand baby we want to travel and share te world with Charity I think no newpets for now.
If you have to sneck around to get what you want youhave a problem that needs attention fast before it gets worse how will the kids veiw mom being scared of dad not good.

[shais_mom]

ONLY, ONLY, ONLY cause you posted it in the form of a question: ANYone that "tells" me what I have to do is not someone worthy of my love, respect, commitment, etc. I know someon will say, "Oh, that is cause you aren't married...compromise, submission, blah, blah"....but, no WAY does someone "tell" me what I, an adult, does or doesn't do.

I would take the husband to the pound. To think you are actually concerned that he would take her to the pound, while he knows you care for her, is rather sick, IMO.

exactly -

I see way too many women in relationships like this and its sickening.

Sorry, dear, your personality doesn't make him a lousy husband!

exactly -
HE makes himself a lousy husband.

[catnapper]

I can't imagine being married to anyone who controlled me, but I also would never let someone do it. I'm too strong a person and if you ask hubby, I am the controlling one around here

He recently gave me an ultimatium about Allen's peeing. Allen's still peeing everywhere and is still here --- I think he just gets frustrated because we're broker than broke and the house is falling apart around our ears.... at least it shouldn't smell like cat pee! I agree with him but I can't seem to convince Allen not to pee! Ah, but I digress!

My dad is a LOT like your hubby. Mom is stronger than she thinks and getting stronger every day. Dad always said "White walls only!" so last week I painted their livingroom yellow (which he actually liked!), and yesterday I came over while he was at work and painted her kitchen VERY green -- at HER request! I wonder what his reaction was when he came home? LOL He also watched every single penny she spent. So years ago, she realized that she could get money back at the grocery store. She clipped coupons and such more so than ever, then would funnel $20 each week extra at the supermarket. Not that its right, but it gives her some spending cash and avoids many fights over money. My brother and I think its weird that she has to hide money like that about money but it works for her and gives her some freedom.

[Argranade]

I would get rid of husband, sorry, that's just my opinion.

Haha I think thats excacly what I would do.

Your bunny is beautiful and Runner is such an awsome breed with neat colours.


Good on ya for talking back, dont let him touch those pets ya never know!

[Muddy4paws]

I would get rid of husband, sorry, that's just my opinion.

You read my mind

Seriously, maybe hes a bit jealous of the animals? do you pay them 100% attention? I dont know much about bunnies can you but their stuff in bulk? maybe that will cut the costs down a bit?

[caseysmom]

A bunny can't cost too much, just try not to spend too much.

[ashleycat]

A bunny can't cost too much, just try not to spend too much.

LOL. I don't spend much. But how can you turn down a pretty colar for the kitty or doggie or what ever lol..

Well, now I make my own scarfs lol