A 40 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed, laughing and singing. Her husband walks in, watches her a while and then says, "You look ridiculous! What are you doing?" She says, " I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old." He says, "Yeah right and what did he say about your 40 year old ass?"
"Nothing" she replied, "Your name never came up."



A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and sirens, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled "PULLOVER."
"NO," the blonde yelled back. "IT,S A SCARF."