joke thread

[amoore]

I'm a blond too.

[amoore]

At least I found my prints!

[LauralG]

lol I guess I got to kiss alot of toods before i get my price o I mean....... Prints lol great pic.. great jokes. Thanks.

[amoore]

He is a prince not a toad! heheheh . Don't you think he is" purdy!"

[LauralG]

Whats his name and he your pet? He is big lol.









Thanks Willie for this pretty signature

[amoore]

That is Sipoweitz, He is the most petted frog out of my 7. He is so sweet, you pick him up and he starts talking frog talk. He is the one in my signature. I have had him for two years, almost three.

[LauralG]

I just love it when frogs sing we hear them alot out here in Canada because I live near alot of water. He is pretty.








Thanks Wiliie for this signature Ii is so pretty.

[trayi52]

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and
is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do
more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

[amoore]

LOL! That is funny, but true!

[LauralG]

Answering machine message 09
Don't you do it! Don't you dare! I don't want to hear it! Don't you beep! If you beep, I'll... don't even think about it!... Don't...!


LOL





Thankyou Willie for this signature I just love it.

[RICHARD]

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it
didn't move," answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
didn't move."

[gini]

A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went
to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter. The
Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for
small planes and he could instruct her via radio. So up the blonde went. She
reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The
blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was running
smoothly. At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the
top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The Instructor jumped into his
jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay. As he reached the edge of
the woods, the blonde was walking out. "What happened?" the Instructor asked.
"All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?"
"Well," began the blonde, "I got cold. So I turned off the ceiling fan

[slick]

> A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some
> rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to
> the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have.
>
> Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been
> buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some
> more.
>
> "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any"
>
> "But I always buy it here," says the blonde
>
> "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the
pharmacist.
>
> "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
>
> She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who
> looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of
> underarm deodorant"
>
> Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out
loud
> from the container....."TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."

[Tonya]

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!!!!
>
> A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.
> I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
> started."
>
> Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
>
> The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
>
> Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in
> and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
>
> He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
> her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be
> able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."
>
> He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice
> cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, .........................
>
> "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
>

[ILoveMyAbbyGirl]

THAT... was great, Tonya!