joke thread

[anna_66]

[ellensy]

what's that?? mm, a black pomeranian?

[ChrisH]

it`s a Hungarian Puli dog!

Rockisland Puli - Photo Gallery

[gini]

Chris, thanks......

Aren't they wonderful?

[anna_66]

Originally posted by ChrisH
it`s a Hungarian Puli dog!

Rockisland Puli - Photo Gallery

Thanks Chris!

[AvaJoy]

Hope this isn't too risque . . .

Q. Two potatoes are standing on a street corner. How do you know which one is the prostitute?

A. It is the one with the little sticker that reads: IDAHO.

[captain]

That is really good ..... I like it!

[RICHARD]

The French Tennis Open for this year has been canceled due to a national crisis. They have plenty of rackets...but no balls!!

[captain]

My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. You know, the ones that change color to reflect mood changes.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.

[anna_66]

There was this tiger that woke up one morning and just felt great (yes, just like Tony the Tiger). Anyway, he felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him, "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" And the poor quaking little monkey replied, "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."
A little while later the tiger confronted a deer, and bellowed out, "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?" The deer shook so hard it could barely speak, but managed to stammer, "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."
The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered up to an elephant who was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"
Well, the elephant grabbed the tiger with his trunk, picked him up, slammed him down; picked him up again, and shook him until the tiger was just a blur of orange and black and finally threw him violently into a nearby tree. The tiger staggered to his feet and looked at the elephant and said, "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad."

[ChrisH]

[popcornbird]

LOL Anna! Where do you find all these great jokes?

[AmberLee]

A teacher gave her 5th grade class an assignment: Have their parents tell them a story with a moral.

The next day the kids came to class, and one by one, told their stories....

Little Kathy raised her hand first and said, "We live on a farm and have hens that lay eggs for market. Once we were taking a basket of eggs to market on the front seat of the pick-up truck and we hit a big bump in the road.

The eggs went flying and broke all over everything." And what is the moral to that story?"

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket." "Very good" said the teacher.

Then little Tammy raised her hand and said, "We live on a farm, too.

But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs once but when they hatched, we got only ten live chicks.

And the moral to that story is don't count your chickens before they are hatched." "That was a fine example, Tammy."

Johnny, I believe you had your hand up next."

"Yes Ma'am. My daddy told me that my Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun, and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break, and then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete before the blade broke off. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good Heavens!" said the horrified teacher. "What did your daddy tell you was the moral to that terrible story?"

"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.

--------------------
#2

There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America. Well, there's a very
simple answer.

Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were
getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. All our oil is in Alaska, Texas, California, and Oklahoma.

All our dipsticks are in Washington, DC.

[anna_66]

[anna_66]