One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him what happened to his ears.
"Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!"
"Well," the boss said, "that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"They called back!"
Two campers are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear outside their tent, looking for food at their campsite. Immediately, Chris pulls a pair of running shoes out of his backpack and quickly puts them on. Incredulous, his friend Michael says, "There's no way you can outrun that bear."
Chris replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
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