Cosmo, My Gentle Giant

[bobhoffman]

On June 26th, my dear beloved Cosmo broke his neck in a fall. He was 5 1/2 years old.

Cosmo, his brother lil bit, his sister Persia, and his mommy sheena were all brought home from a shelter to keep my kitten chaos company after the loss of his brother Atlas.

Here is a photo of the twins, Cosmo on the left and lil bit on the right
-image removed, I am too hurt to keep coming here, I am sorry..

I picked up two little girls (or saved is more like it) for a grand total of seven cats.
For 5 1/2 years I worked at home with my babies. I got them all when they were around 8 weeks old. Cosmo never stopped growing. He grew and grew, not fat growth, just huge giant growth. His body was so long and he was so thick with muscle it was unreal.

The two sisters, muffy and baby, absolutely were going out with Cosmo. They always slept with him. Always. My house did not really have a hierarchy, it was more of a love fest. We all played together.

WHatever chaos would do, cosmo would follow. many a night or day was spent repairing a screen or finding htose two when they got outside once in a while.

Cosmo was always there at the door when I came home, first to eat, and he snored a little bit each night.
An open window or screen door found cosmo taking up the 'sitting space' for a day or so. He loved sitting by the window when it was open and sleeping next to the window when it was not.

He loved running out and just hiding in a bush. He just sat there and enoyed it.

When I would work at the computer he would come up and push me back, try to climb on my shoulder and end up falling asleep like a little baby on my chest and arms or lap. He always caused little rips in the back of my shirt due to his massve claws.

-image removed, I am too hurt to keep coming here, I am sorry..

His love and gentleness knew no bounds. He loved a belly rub anytime anywhere for as long as you wanted. He was obviously a maine coon and did not seem to stop growing.

Monday night, I heard a sliding sound from behind me as I sat in the office and then a long strange mewl. It sounded like a cat was stuck behind something or under something. I looked around and saw nothing. I realized it may have come from the garage and went to help whoever was trapped.

I opened the door and saw my other cats standing over the crumpled body of my gentle beloved giant. I screamed his name and picke up his broken body,.

I started CPR as I realized he was not breathing and had no pulse. I thought he may have choked or had a seizure. I grabbed my keys while trying to save him and rushed to emergency vet that night. IT is only a few blocks away and I almost hit two cars and did miss the entrance to the little mall they were in. I crashed through bushes and over parking curbs and slid to a stop at the vet. I ran right in and gave them my kitty....all the time massaging his chest and breathing gently into his nose and mouth.

They took him back and came out a minute later and said he was gone. I was upset cause I thought they did not try at all. But he had no heartbeat and he was blue in the mouth. He was dead.

I drove home but kept trying to save him. I laid him on the carpet and kept the cpr and heart massage for a while before I realized he was gone.

IT was the worst night of my entire life and I lost one of the candles in my heart. I held a little wake and a friend came over that night. The cats all saw their family member dead and were pretty freaked out, but it was better for them to see him.

I buried him that morning around 2am, 31/2 hours after it happened.

It has been about 5 days and the shock has worn off....I was in complete shock and devestated. I visited his grave in the yard a hundred times and talked to him.

I miss every moment with him each day as he was an integral part of everything I did at the house.

He was soo big, not fat, just a giant sized cat, that I always talked about him. showed him off to visitors, and loved holding him as he slept, gently rubbing his belly.

This photo was taken a year and a half ago....and he still grew after this photo. The black cat is around 13 pounds and is a slightly overweight normal sized cat. The brown one is my giant baby Cosmo......

-image removed, I am too hurt to keep coming here, I am sorry..

When people would come over and see my 6 cats, they would be saying that they were pretty big for cats...until the seventh cat, Cosmo sauntered into the room. Everyone would say 'oh my god' and would be astonished at how big he was. And the big fluffy furry Cosmo would just walk around then fall over for a belly rub.


He liked to sleep on the couch like this...remember, this is a couch...and he goes from back to front and is a little scrunched up...this was taken about 1 1/2 years ago...before he grew more...
-image removed, I am too hurt to keep coming here, I am sorry..

I am going to set up a foundation for cosmo and his family. Money, 100% to go to shelters and hard luck cases as well as the care of his family should they need surgeries or help.

I love all my babies, but his girth made everything all the cats did, like eating or sleeping, special and was the 'oompf' of the crowd and really made a startling presense.

The house is empty now, food goes uneaten, sleeping patterns are messed up, cats are mourning, sadness permeates my life. My baby was a big part of my life. I cannot vacuum as his hair is everywhere and so is his smell.

I finally went out to the store a few days later, first time I left the house. When I came home I cried as I opened the door. For 5 1/2 years he has met me at the door every single day of his life. I always was home and never went on trips except for xmas...and that was only overnight. He was always there at the door....now he will never greet me with his big hug and little meow....

I miss, and always will miss, everything about my little gentle giant. There is a hole in my heart and a light is missing that can never be replaced.

I love you Cosmo....forever.
I miss you Cosmo....unbearably.

Your little girlfriend baby is missing you something awful....(black kitty on the left, being lovey dovey with Cosmo on the right)
-image removed, I am too hurt to keep coming here, I am sorry..

[bobhoffman]

The photos are all from a few years back..2004. He eventually made it to around 21 lbs or so...but his big fur made him wider and fluffier and looked about 30 lbs. Eventually I will put together a photo album for him onlne to show his growth and love of the other cats...but no 2005 and 2006 pics are online.

I miss him every minute.
I miss you too Atlas...both of you will be in my heart until the day I die...IF there is a god and there is a heaven, I pray to spend eternity with you both again..if not, my memories will be as close as I can be to you forever.

bob

[Prairie Purrs]

I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful big boy Cosmo. It's obvious from your heartfelt tribute to him how much he was loved and what a good life he had.

[catmandu]

Cosmo is up with the Pet Angels now, and is running about with his new Friends.
It was Cosmo day at the Mandarin, and Cosmo got the first tray.
And I know how you feel losing that Big Budle of Love so suddenly when you thought you had a lot more time.
He will visit you, and let you know that hes still there for you, and will be your shadow until you are reunited again.
One Fine Day.

[jenluckenbach]

I am so sorry for your loss. RIP dear Cosmo.

[bobhoffman]

I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful big boy Cosmo. It's obvious from your heartfelt tribute to him how much he was loved and what a good life he had.

Thank you, all of you who have mentioned him and those who will be writing later, if any. I will continue to read this thread for a while I imagine...a long time for sure.

I am glad I did not find this site the first or second day as I would have written a whole book on his habits and why I love him....and how I will miss him.

The shock I went through upon his sudden death was the first time I ever really experienced a panic disorder/ traumatic stress.

For 3 days my arms and legs tingled, my legs were numb, my arms had a burning sensation. I could not sleep or eat, felt my entire world had changed, just wanted to crawl into a whole and die of loneliness. The back of my head felt very warm and tingley, even to the point of hurting. My brain felt weird the whole time too. I still get some of these symptoms when I envision finding his body again.

I went through hours of freezing cold and hours of sweating heat. The poor cats went from a very hot house to a cold 60 degrees every couple hours.

I almost went to the hospital but I finally fell asleep for a few hours.

What I got out of it was this experience of emotions....
I did not want to sleep. If I slept, then it would be the 'next day' and I could not accept taht...as long as it was the same day, then it just happened..and thus I could keep the feeling of still being there for him...When the next day comes, the loss was 'yesterday' and grief turns to mourning and you start moving on. I did not want to move on. I think that is why you stay up for days.

I slowly started doing things like the dishes, making a few business calls, and a few samll routine things I did before he died. I think I did not want to do any of them since so many things involved him since I worked at home and he was always right next to me while doing most of them. His tail was so long and thick that when he junped on the computer monitor you basically could not see much at all of the screen...and I have a big monitor.

I also realized that my anxiety and stress was worrying some of my closer kitties. The ones who would sleep on me at night or just sit on my lap all teh time (trading with cosmo). What pulled me through the darkness was trying to make them feel better by acting normal and by thinking how I must hold it together so I can take care of his family members and girlfriends.

It is sad to see so many kitties on here, reading the stories does help me...and makes me sadder too.

I do not know which religion is right or wrong, or whether or not there is a God, or if I wille ver see my baby again....but in my heart and memories both Cosmo and Atlas live on..through pictures and gentle reminders that come to me sometimes through the senses, I will remember them til the day I die.

When I die, like citizen kane I shall mumble some words upon death....those words will be the names of my kitties who have touched my soul..

Atlas, Cosmo, and the living ones, Chaos, lil bit, mommy, muffy, baby, and persia.

Dying is easy, coping with loss breaks the heart and makes the soul cry.

[kb2yjx]

So very sorry to read about your Cosmo. He will always be with you. Sleep softly, dear Cosmo...

[Cataholic]

What a lovely tribute. I am so sorry to hear about Cosmo. I can only imagine the hole in your heart. RIP, sweet Cosmo. May memories comfort you, in time.

[smokey the elder]

I'm so sorry about Cosmo. What a big kitty he was, and he sounded like a sweetie! Wonderful tribute. He's joined all the other kitties at Rainbow Bridge.

[rosethecopycat]

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....*

Author unknown...


Thanks for sharing Cosmo with us. We can tell your love is strong for him, and we here, believe strongly in the reuniting with our pets at the Rainbow Bridge.
You will see him again. One Fine Day.


Godspeed to the Bridge, Cosmo

[Donnaj4962]

I am so sorry for your loss. Cosmo sounds like he was a great kitty... and he will obviously be missed terribly. RIP sweet Cosmo. Know that your Meowmie loves you, and you will meet again one day at the RB.