What should I do?

[Lobodeb]

I received a box in the mail yesterday. Wasn't expecting anything. I look at the sender and it's my dad's "widow." I open the box and find various items, some of which I really wanted. I am very grateful that she sent these things, however, I'm in a bit of a quandry. I don't like this woman. I never have. I tolerated her while my dad was with her, but she is the reason he is dead, IMHO. She killed him inside. I told my dad before he married her that she would be the end of him. He didn't believe me. The things she sent were, in part, a ring my mom gave my dad, his wedding ring when he was married to my mom, a ring my grandma gave him and the rosary and cross that were in his coffin. She also sent some cards I had sent him and some of his schematics from various things he's built for me.

My question to you is this:

Do I send her a thank you note? Part of me says yes. That she didn't have to send them to me. She could have easily thrown these things away without me knowing. Mind you, I didn't ask for any of these things. The other part says no. She acted like an itch with a B at the funeral. And the things she sent were things that had to do with me and my mom. She never liked the fact that my dad still wore the ring my mom gave him.

What do you think?

[kuhio98]

Yep, send her a note. It honors your father and the choice he made to marry her. It was a thoughtful thing for her to do. Especially, if she knows you don't care for her.

[caseysmom]

You are so much better than her just send her a short thank you, you will feel better about it in the long run.

[Lizzie]

I agree that a brief note thanking her for taking the time to send the things to you and that you appreciated receiving them is appropriate. You won't want to make it personal, talking about what the items mean to you. I doubt if you will regret sending it, but if you don't you will probably regret that decision later.

[jenluckenbach]

Please send a thank you note.

[joycenalex]

send her a thank you note. you be the class act she should be.

[JenBKR]

I agree with the above, be the better person and send a brief note.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Send her a note - your Dad would be proud of you

[elizabethann]

My 1st reaction was "hell no", but after thinking about it, I think you should send a quick and to the point note, just thanking her for the items - nothing else - no "hope you're doing fine...yada yada yada". I think you'll feel better.

Take care.

[lv4dogs]

I agree with everyone else, just a simple quick thank you will do.

[Corinna]

I agree be a class act . thank her she didn't have to return them .

[Lobodeb]

Does it change anyone's mind knowing that they were separated when he died? They were waiting till the end of the year to file for their divorce for tax reasons.

[jazzcat]

Yes, yes, yes send her a thank you note. I have a sister in law that is a class A Witch and has made my life heck, especially during my mother's funeral but I still acknowledge the few and far between nice things she does for me which for the past few years has just been Christmas gifts (even though I know it was only because of my brother). I tried to play on her level and be a witch right back to her and it made me feel horrible. By sending her thank you notes for what she did it makes me feel like the better person and I can live my life knowing I've done the right thing and any problems are her problems. My life has been much happier since I've let a lot of that anger go.

(((HUGS)))

[lv4dogs]

Does it change anyone's mind knowing that they were separated when he died? They were waiting till the end of the year to file for their divorce for tax reasons.

No becuase she still went out of her way & thought of you, she took the time to send you those items that she didn't have to send you if she didn't want to.

Nothing fancy what so ever, just a simple thank you thats all. Of course my motto is forgive & forget, if that makes a difference. Life is too short to dwell on the little things in life.

[caseysmom]

If you are harboring all these feeling and really feel that she pushed your father over the edge. Send her a letter, thank her for sending those items but then tell her whats in your heart, it may make you feel better and you will be an advocate for your father.