Brain Cramps
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>Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
>Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
>because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
>but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
>--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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>"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I
>can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with
>all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey
>
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>"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
>your life," --Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson
>for federal anti-smoking campaign.
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>"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston
>Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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>"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in
>the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
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>"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are
>the president." --Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
>ocuments.
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>"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and
>I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas.
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>"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager,
>Danny Ozark
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>"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
>our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President (DUH !)
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>"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." --Dan Quayle
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>"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee
>Iacocca
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>"The word 'genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
>Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback &sports analyst.
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>"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of
>people."
>--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.
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>"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." --Bill Clinton,
>President
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>"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
>--Al Gore, VP (damn he's ! smart)
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>"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
>--Keppel Enderbery
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>"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received
>notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there
>is a change in your circumstances."
>--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
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>"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they
>go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night . And the
>next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S.
>Fowler, FCC Chairman
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12/02
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