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Thread: a funny story most mature ladies will enjoy....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    11,191

    a funny story most mature ladies will enjoy....

    I received this email from my friend today, I thought I would share it with you all, as it was rather entertaining, gosh I always wondered what really happened ,now I know, time we got the Police onto these thefts eh? lol.

    This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family who have.

    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

    I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

    It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

    Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning.

    In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

    My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

    That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee.

    That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

    The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?

    I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

    This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

    P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

    Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

    Hope I brought a smile to your day.
    Furangels only lent.
    RIP my gorgeous Sooti, taken from us far too young, we miss your beautiful face and purssonality,take care of Ash for us, love you xx000❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Ash,your pawprints are forever in my heart, love and miss you so much my big boy. ❤️❤️

    RIP my sweet gorgeous girl Ellie-Mae, a little battler to the end, you will never ever be forgotten, your little soul is forever in my heart, my thoughts, my memories, my love for you will never die, Love you my darling little precious girl.❤️❤️

    RIP our sweet Nikita taken suddenly ,way too soon ,you were a special girl we loved you so much ,miss you ❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Lexie, 15 years of unconditional love you gave us, we loved you so much, and miss you more than words can say.❤️❤️

    RIP beautiful Evee Ray Skye ,my life will never be the same with out you ,I loved you so much, I will never forget you ,miss you my darling .❤️❤️

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
    Posts
    6,600
    ROFLMAO!!!! It's happening in all areas of the world sad to say!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Tabbyville, PA
    Posts
    15,827
    ROTFL!!! I was looking in the mirror a few months ago and noticed that even though I'm much thinner now than two years ago, my face is much rounder! Who can explain that? Who added that extra chin? I don't want it! I LOST weight to get rid of it, and its still hanging around. Darn thieves. They messed up and left me TWO chins while they took my own!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Munich
    Posts
    15,285
    Laughing and crying at the same time

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    Wylie, Texas USA
    Posts
    5,169
    OMG, that is hilarious! I'm ROTFLOL. Thanks for the laugh this morning Carole, I really needed it.

  6. #6
    All too true!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2001
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    18,335
    I laugh as I eat a box of girl scout cookies!
    ~Kimmy, Zam, Logan, Raptor, Nimrod, Mei, Jasper, Esme, & Lucy Inara
    RIP Kia, Chipper, Morla, & June

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Calgary, Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    4,789
    Yep, got hit by the same bunch. Thighs and butt already done. Waiting on the rest. Good to know I'm not alone.
    Gayle - self proclaimed Queen of Poop
    Mommy to: Cali (14 year old kitten)
    (RB furbabies: Rascal RB 10/11/03 (ferret), Sami RB 24/02/04 (dog), Trouble RB 10/08/05 (ferret), Miko RB 20/01/06 (ferret) and Sebastian RB 12/12/06(ferret), Sasha RB 17/10/09 (border collie cross), Diego RB 04/12/21

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    11,191
    I wonder girls if they will ever catch these morons in the act eh? I am going to guard what is left that is good with all my might, actually come to think of it, I think its too late, the so and so's have taken it all, However I think J-lo got my butt and a bit more from someone else if you ask me HE HE..lol. Maybe it was your's?
    Furangels only lent.
    RIP my gorgeous Sooti, taken from us far too young, we miss your beautiful face and purssonality,take care of Ash for us, love you xx000❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Ash,your pawprints are forever in my heart, love and miss you so much my big boy. ❤️❤️

    RIP my sweet gorgeous girl Ellie-Mae, a little battler to the end, you will never ever be forgotten, your little soul is forever in my heart, my thoughts, my memories, my love for you will never die, Love you my darling little precious girl.❤️❤️

    RIP our sweet Nikita taken suddenly ,way too soon ,you were a special girl we loved you so much ,miss you ❤️❤️

    RIP my beautiful Lexie, 15 years of unconditional love you gave us, we loved you so much, and miss you more than words can say.❤️❤️

    RIP beautiful Evee Ray Skye ,my life will never be the same with out you ,I loved you so much, I will never forget you ,miss you my darling .❤️❤️

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    SE USA
    Posts
    18,443
    My Mama use to warn me that one day I was going to look in the mirrow and wonder who that old lady was looking back at me...

    WHY are Mother's alway RIGHT?

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Santa Paula, CA
    Posts
    27,648
    This is too funny. I'm fighting this all the way.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    491
    One woman had her neck liposuctioned. It did work.

    My old body is almost totally gone by now and replaced by another. Wonder where I could find it?

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Tennessee, USA
    Posts
    17,326
    THANK YOU! I've been looking for SOMEONE to blame for this!!!
    Kim Loves Cats and Doggies Too!

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