Unhappy Calico

[MommaCat]

Dear Friends,
This is my first post on this forum. I am at my wits end and hope I can get some good loving advice.
We have two cats. One is 13 1/2 years old Calico. Shadow... The other we just adopted. He is 6 years old, male named Clayton.Before we adopted Clayton, we had another male, big orange baby named Pumpkin. Pumpkin crosed over last April with Liver cancer. He and Shadow were raised together. He was the diminat one and she always being a Calico retreated to the background. After Pumpkin died, she came out of her shell. She became the Princess. Never allowing us to pick her up, she let us pet her and she became more relaxed, relaxing in my study and sleeping with us at night.
In January we adopted a male 6 year old from our local awesome SPCA, where Pumpkin and Shadow were adopted from. It was love at first sight and CLayton came home with us. We did what everyone said to do. We kept them separated and tried to initiate them slowly.
When they finally saw each other up close and p[ersonal, Shadow hissed and growled and chased him away. She is NOT Happy that he is here. She still hisses and growls if he walks in the same room. The tables seem to have turned and he now will chase her.
She is now retreated back into herself. She stays in the podwer room bath room or hides behind a sofa oe my husband's desk. She no longer comes in my study or sleeps with us. My heart is breaking. I love my little girl so much. I don't know what to do. I love them both.
Calicos are "special" unto themselves, as we all know. What do I do? I try an dpet her and kiss her.. she is still upset with me. What do I do?
Our vet said leave them be. THey will work it out. But every day I see her retreat more and more into herself. I had to get a litter box an dput it in the powder room becasue she won't go downstairs any more.
PLEASE other lovers of cats help me help my Princess.

BLessings,
MommaCat

[jenluckenbach]

Most importantly, how long have you had Clayton? TIME is your best friend. (and sometimes you need a LOT of it)

[MommaCat]

Clayton came to us in January.. and they have been up close and personal for the past month.

MommaCat

[jenluckenbach]

Too soon to panic then. Has there been ANY sign of improvement. Or has the situation just gotten worse and worse?

[MommaCat]

That's hard to say. Last week Clayton came tearing down the stairs after Shadow an dthey both knocked over a plant.
Since then... I dunno.. what they do during the day when we are away is unknown. CLayton I think stays in the basement, looking out the window or up in his "fort" which is behind the basement steps on boxes covered with soft blankets. Shadow probably stays in the bathroom.
No hissing or growling lately. I am just so worried about her.. or is she playing me like a violin? She knows what buttons to push... She knows her Momma loves her to pieces and I am worried about her.
My husband says that Clayton is just happy to be someplace where he is loved and safe. He is very laid back. Any more so and that boy would be in a coma.

Blessings,
Momma Cat

[jenluckenbach]

He is very laid back. Any more so and that boy would be in a coma.

LOL

She probably does have some feelings of betrayal about you right now. I would probably start with giving her a lot of attention in the room of her choosing. But then, force her to come out to you to get that attention (even if that means sitting right outside the bathroom door until she comes to you). Then move a little further away and entice her to come to you. Use her favorite toy, activity or treat to lure her to you and then pet and praise her in a way that you know that she likes.

[MommaCat]

THat's a good idea..... except she HATES any treats. Pumpkin was my 20 pound I'll eat anything boy. Clayton was abused and loves to eat. He has gained over 1/2 pund since January! That boy loves to eat!
Shadow is my Princess....eats ONLY cat food... NEVER any treats....she is also stubborn......LOrd knows where she gets that from... must be from my husband!

I cannot tell how refreshing this is to be able to talk with people that love cats.

I am a Reiki Practitioner an dhave also tried that on Shadow. She is not very accepting of that, but I try.
I love her, and just hope that she will come back to me. I miss her and I tell her that all the time. I tell her how much I love her, and ask her to come keep me company. She paces when she is out of the bathroom.. Paces paces.

Sh eis giving me gray hair!
Blessings,
Momma Cat

[jenluckenbach]

She is giving me gray hair

Most kids do

[slick]

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles MommaCat, and I see one of our "experts" Jen is helping you along. I've never been in this situation so all I can do is offer up my heartfelt support and prayers.

I also want to welcome you to Pet Talk. Yes, we talk and talk and talk about pets and how much we love them. You will find that you can never brag too much about your furbabies. When you settle down I'd love to see some pictures of Shadow and Clayton.

[MommaCat]

Dear Slick and Jen,
THANK you so very very much for your warm welcome and helpful hints.
Shadow is in the bathroom sink. JIm took a picture of her hiding just above the rim of the sink. She is adorable... pecuiliar, but adorable.
We both spend time with her in the powder room......she is regressing and I am feeling like it is all my fault. I have so much rrom in my heart for so many babies... and when I saw Clayton it was love at first sight. He, his Momma and his sister were badly abused and dumped on the doorstep of our local SPCA.WHen we adopted Shadow she had also been abused. The acrs of abuse last a lifetime.
I have a dear friend that is also a reiki Practitioner as I am, she is also an animal communicator and has told me what these angels have been thru. She also goes with me to the SPCA and "talks" to the babies that have serious behavioral problems. Dear Lord.... what these precious ones have been thru is truly a crime.
Beaten, thrown, yelled at, startved. hiding in fear. So help me God if it's the last thing I do I WILL change this. No more Shadows, and CLaytons thathave to live in fear.
When our daughter graduates from college next year, I hope to leave my job with Hospice and start my own Hospice/sanctuary for animals.

This is so wonderful to have new freinds to talk with about our fuzzies.
Blessings be yours,
Momma Cat

[MommaCat]

ok....
I just went to check on Shadow.. she is still sitting in the bathroom sink.. an dthere sitting by the door that goes to the garage which is right by that bathroom was Clayton... Just sitting there.. behaving.. but nevertheless sitting outside the bathroom.
Is he tormenting her or does he want to make nice?

I am getting older by the minute.
Momma Cat

[Lilith Cherry]

Hi there!

I'm sure he justs wants to be friendly! With all the love they must feel in your home I am convinced that things will turn out fine although it may a while to happen.

Good luck and the furry gang here and I will keep you in our thoughts!

[catnapper]

Welcome to PT Mommacat.

We all love our cats very much here. I know what you mean about a cat regressing into themselves, because our Allen (a 20 pound orangie) was best buds with aour small dog who died two years ago. He started to become very quiet and withdrawn. Our other dog tolerates Allen but won't play with him the way Sammie did. Quite by accident we adopted Pouncer; Allen woke up from his sleep. He's now outgoing and the loving charismatic cat he once was.

How can you get you sweetie back to herself? As Jen said, a month is not that long of a time for the two to get to know each other. Sounds like Clayton wants to become friends with Shadow. Its hopefully a matter of time before she makes nice with him. She's probably still upset that her home is invaded by a newcomer and resentful that you are sharing your affections with him. My Nicki (the big dog) is still jealous of Pouncer - and he's been ruling the house since July! Sometimes I wish we could just talk to our pets and ask them what's wrong... and get and answer it return!

[Denyce]

It sounds like things might be calming down just a tad. I know how heartbreaking these things can be. I have been there. I have found that once they stop trying to chase or tear one another apart that one way of easing tensions is to play with the both of them. Take a toy like a feather on a stick or something and get them to start playing with it. It has worked with mine a few times since they start to focus on something other than each other.

Denyce

[PayItForward]

It might be worth seperating them again.

Give your girl a lot of loving and very very slowly repeat the introduction.

You sound experienced with introductions so you probually won't need to read my link, but just in case....
http://www.piftails.com/Solo_IntroducingNewCat.html