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Thread: Robbery! I Hate These Sort Of Thieves!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
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    Robbery! I Hate These Sort Of Thieves!

    Stolen in The Night please read

    This is a heads-up to those friends who haven't experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family who have:

    Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on.
    While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not.
    It's happening every day.

    My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.
    It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of
    cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years?

    Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

    I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and
    Sheer Energy pantyhose.

    Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
    My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

    It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched.
    One morning I was fixing my hair, and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with
    the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary.

    My body was being replaced one section at a time.
    How clever and fiendish.

    Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being
    attacked repeatedly and without warning.

    In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?

    My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled.

    That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and
    smell the coffee.

    That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.
    You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

    The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you?

    I think I finally found my thighs... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

    This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

    P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped
    out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.

    Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

  2. #2
    Qs, Lmbo. :d

  3. #3
    HAHAHAHAHA, I think the thief hit my house too=( LOL that was funny.

    Thanks Jess for the great sig of my kids!


    I love you baby, passed away 03/04/2008

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
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    SE USA
    Posts
    18,443
    My Mama told me about that thief years ago and how they stole her body and face.... I am finding out they have learned where I live too and although I keep my doors locked, they are still getting in!

    Special Needs Pets just leave bigger imprints on your heart!

  5. #5
    Join Date
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    Location
    If You Don't Talk To Your Cat About Catnip, Who Will?
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    6,600
    Nasty bunch of hooligans huh? I think they stole a lot of my brain cells as well!
    ~*~ "None left to rescue, none left to buy, none left to suffer, none left to die. None to be beaten, none to be kicked...all must be loved and all must be fixed".
    Author Unknown ~*~

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    ~BRRR~ I'VE BEEN FROSTED!!!~ BRRR~

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