Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Christmas Eve with Ritz

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,498

    Christmas Eve with Ritz

    (with humble and sincere apologies to Clement C Moore and his classic "The Night Before Christmas")


    Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
    …..(except for the one with fake fur and little shaky beads inside that Ritzy is using as the object of a rousing game of linoleum hockey)
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
    But Ritz tore them down ‘cause they felt like mouse hair
    The humans were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While hoping of sleep with no cats on their heads
    And mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap,
    Even Ritz settled in for a brief midnight nap
    When down in the hall there arose such a clatter
    I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter….
    With my toes….now new cat toys…almost victims of a slash
    Wielded by a playful cat, now away in a flash.
    The moon on the breast of a tuxedo’ed face
    And the luster of gold in her eyes was in place,
    When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    But a rampaging cat running wild down the stair
    There were miniature mice, not quite like reindeer
    Strewn all o’er the house, minus tails, here and there
    That black and white cat was so lively and glitzy
    I knew in a moment it must be Ms Ritzy.
    More rapid and frantic, her sprints through the house
    As she chattered half meows, like she’d seen a REAL mouse
    ”On mom cat, on dad cat, get up out of that bed!
    There’s a cat in the house and she needs to be fed!”
    Then down by the tree, lit with holiday glow
    Tween the brightly wrapped presents, her white paw pads did go
    And then, in a heartbeat, noises on the kitchen floor
    Rumbling, thundering run, then slid with a THUD into the door
    Her back arched in fright, and she jumped and she flailed
    Then POOF, went her fur, three times big was her tail!
    Then, quick, like a flash, up the stairway she flew
    With tail still all fuzzy, all curled up like a Q
    Turned the corner and POUNCE, on the quilt in the night
    Under which was my tummy, I awake with a fright!
    Ritzy’s patience is spent, time to wake up the house
    Merry Christmas to all, now where’s my toy mouse!?


    HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!
    "Everything is better when Ritz sits on it......or in it"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Posts
    12,662
    LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! What a talent!!!! This was great and should be published! LOL! Oh my, I can't tell you how many lines of this poem are true for me as well. Thank you for a great big laugh today!!

  3. #3
    (*Applause, whistles*) Bravo!! Bravo!! TOOOOOOO funny!!!!
    The legend says that Mohammed adored cats. When one of them was sleeping on his sleeve and he had to go out, Mohammed supposedly cut off the sleeve so as not to disturb his pet.

    A righteous man regardeth the life of his beast - Proverbs 12:10

    How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. - Robert A. Heinlein

    What greater gift than the love of a cat? ~ Charles Dickens

    There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. - Dan Greenberg

    If purring could be encapsulated, it'd be the most powerful anti-depressant on the market. ~Alexis F. Hope

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    Drama Queen Rehab
    Posts
    6,984
    AS ACGS said: BRAVO, BRAVO, and double BRAVO!!!!!!

    Where can I get an illustrated copy?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Vermont, USA
    Posts
    148
    Quote:
    The humans were nestled all snug in their beds,
    While hoping of sleep with no cats on their heads



    LOL! Great poem! Thanks for sharing it with us!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Kansas City, Kansas
    Posts
    4,237
    Originally posted by All Creatures Great And Small
    (*Applause, whistles*) Bravo!! Bravo!! TOOOOOOO funny!!!!
    Bravo, Bravo!!!!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Cincinnati, Ohio USA
    Posts
    11,467
    Way to go Nawteekat Ms. Ritz! You certainly know all about the holiday festivities, don't you?

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Stockport. England
    Posts
    4,330
    WOW! That was so funny - dare I shout 'Encore - Encore'?
    I agree with the others, this is too good to hide - publish!!!!!!!

    Lynne
    Time spent with cats is never wasted
    --Collette

    RIP Dear Dan xxx

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    I'm not sure, what day is it? ;-)
    Posts
    13,740
    Wonderful! This was so funny, and so true too.

    Yes, Encore, Encore!!!

    (gee, I wish I had imagination enough to even come close to something like this)
    Tubby
    Spring 1986 - Dec. 11, 2004
    RIP Big Boy
    -----------
    Peanut
    Fall 1988 - Jan. 24, 2007
    RIP Snotty Girl
    -----------
    Robin
    Fall 1997 - Oct. 6, 2012
    RIP Sweet Monkeyhead Girl

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,498
    Humble bow....thanks, glad you enjoyed. I have been knee deep in writing some technical journals for my work, and had to break away before my brain "carboned up" and my sense of humor fell off

    Glad you enjoyed! I like the idea of an illustrated version ..... if only I could illustrate...perhaps that nice lady who did the neat drawing of her cats?
    "Everything is better when Ritz sits on it......or in it"

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Kansas, USA
    Posts
    20,902
    Clement C Moore would be jealous that he didn't write this!!! Add my BRAVO!!! to the others.

  12. Quit your day job! This (along with some of your lyrics!) convince me creative writing is your forte!

    Amazing talent!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,498
    Originally posted by Edwina's Secretary
    Quit your day job! This (along with some of your lyrics!) convince me creative writing is your forte!

    Amazing talent!

    ....thanks...it's that "starving artist" thing that keeps me grounded.....particularly the "starving" part. Seriously, I do love writing, always have, it is a fun hobby.
    "Everything is better when Ritz sits on it......or in it"

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,017
    I can't believe I didn't see this until now! I guess I was too busy getting ready for Christmas.
    I love it! The only thing missing is some photos of Ritzy to go with it.
    RIP sweet Samantha
    6/26/88-8/28/08
    ----------------------------

    Milly & Izzy

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    New Orleans, LA USA
    Posts
    765
    LOL That was teriffic!!


    Tiff and the ever expanding krewe
    Scout, Gigi, & Bixby -the kitties
    Rory, Lola, Jax, Max, & Lulu -the ferrets

Similar Threads

  1. Ritz is here ... (*13 pics*)
    By .sarah in forum Dog General
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-08-2007, 01:44 PM
  2. Out of the Pits and into the Ritz!!!
    By Freedom in forum Dog General
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 05-17-2007, 07:33 AM
  3. F ritz somewhat better
    By fritz03 in forum Dog General
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 06-24-2005, 05:58 AM
  4. Ritz
    By Jean in forum Today's Cat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-30-2003, 01:34 PM
  5. Ritz
    By framboise in forum Today's Cat
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 06-30-2003, 01:27 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Copyright © 2001-2013 Pet of the Day.com