Oh, my dear, dear, sweet loving friends... I hope I can type this, as the tears are just flowing like a river..... My wonderful vet, Dr. Fox, saw Cody last night. He immediately pulled his Jan 16 Xray of his thorax, chest, as that was the day he had his "stroke", which actually was older dog vertigo. He looked at the Xrays, and all was clear as a bell. Apparently, he has "eraser" size dots of cancer in his lungs as it masticized from somewhere else. His right leg isn't as swollen, but it is still huge. He can put pressure on it. The color of his skin under the fur is actually black, as of this morning, are his genitals, as he is "bleeding out" from somewhere. Right now he is barking at the gardners across the street but not his usual rough and tough bark, but enough to let them know they are in his territory! Saturday morning he was fine, ran down our slope in the back to bark at Loco, the lovely pitbull one house down. Later that night he could hardly get up or sit, I thought it was his arthritis from his ACL surgery. His left leg was tucked undeneath him. I gave him Rimydal and gated him in the den with me, so he couldn't do even 5 steps. I concentrated so much on the left leg, massaging and heat pack, that even tho I noticed his right knee "thick" he kept laying on that side so I didn't even see that it was swollen until the vet on Monday pointed it out. The vet (not Dr F.) called me late Monday night at 10p to tell me to take him to the emergency clinic ASAP, as he was EXTREMELY anemic. Since his records were faxed over, they took him right away, even with a room of 20 other people. By 1am, the new blood tests were back and his clotting factor was down, gums were light pink. So when they called me at work on Tuesday to give me the bad news, I almost passed out and had to take a cab home. I could barely handle the one day without him. The nurse neighbor thinks it's bone cancer in that leg, if animals react similar you humans, it would be very swollen. I got some mild pain killer this morning, smoething like Vioxx for dogs, as I didn't want a narcotic. He's still alert and loving, took him on a car ride today . He's still eating and because of all the steroids they gave him, pees every 1/2 hour, but I don't care. In the major skeme of things, it's so minor not to get sleep. I feel no guilt about anything. I never complained about taking him out at 3am (he never, ever peed in the house, even at 5 weeks) or walk every night for an hour even tho I was ill or exhausted. I'm just afraid to face the extreme pain of not having him in my life any more. I still had him after my dad died. Even though I know my dad will be there waiting, I'm having the worse time facing it..that I won't see those big brown eyes, my velcro pal won't cover me with hair, lay on the bed as I get dressed so he can play outside, sit and stare as I make his dinner..dog hair everywhere no matter how much I vacuum... The pain is unbearable. I feel like I'm having a heart attack. . I waited 41 years to get a dog, never played with dolls, always stuffed dogs. My first, premier dog, love of my life. A man and woman at the vet this morning walked from the back room in tears, and I knew right away, so I stopped her, burst into tears, told her, and she was so glad I was there, like an angel to comfort her. I felt her pain so badly, I had to sit down, I just lost it. Dr Fox gave me his home phone number, as he was the first to see Cotes at 4 weeks, and loved him dearly. He said I was the best owner, knew every inch of him and took great care of him. He even cried. I wouldn't want anyone else with me when the time comes. He said I would know too, so I hope all of you are right. I rambled enough, I had to get it off my chest, thank you for maybe reading this. I hope I still have a job, will probably show my face tomorrow. I;ve been taking lots of pictures since it snowed, and today, so as soon as I get them developed, my friend will post them. All these years, and "SLAP MYSELF" I hardly posted a picture. Shame on me. Procrastinated and stupidity. Big regrets on this. At least Cody didn't change one bit- as soon as I aimed the camera, he turned and walked away! Imagine, the goof=ball being camera shy when I have to tap him with the vacuum to move..... I'll stop now......I can NEVER repay your kindness. Just keep praying he goes peacefully without suffering too much, it's all I can ask for him. He deserves it.. Lots and lots of love to all.....Karen
Reply With Quote
Huney, Bon & Simba-missed so very much
Bookmarks